It’s weird that the world suddenly finds time to pitch in opinions when it comes to looking down or controlling women. People struggle to take a stand for the right things, but telling women what to do and be, is everybody’s favourite co-curricular. This reminds me of the Barbie monologue, and how everything is too contradictory. Whatever women do is questioned, whatever women want is demeaned – and we’re still expected to be grateful.
For instance, these things that apparently don’t “look good on women”:
1. Seeking Attention
Women are never recognized for what they do – and what they do, is never enough. This goes for the treatment at home, workplaces or something as simple as a friend circle. Someone who does so much, and is never acknowledged for it, would want attention – or something as bare minimum as being noticed. So, yes, a lot of women end up seeking attention, which isn’t actually wrong, we want something we don’t get, and we ask for it.
2. Wanting Money
Men don’t shy away from throwing around terms like ‘gold digger’, because apparently, every women wants their money. The worst part is, if a woman admits wanting things and material, she’s considered a gold digger. If men do it, they’re ambitious. There are clearly double standards associated with how we approach gender. That’s not it, though. People hardly realize that women have only started finding some monetary control, so yes, we LIKE having money – and if it’s not wrong for men, it’s not wrong for us.
3. Being Girly
The world is never easy on women, so whatever we do, whatever we are, is looking down at. So, if you’re a woman who’s more in touch with her femininity, it’s equated to being fragile, dependent and at times, dumb. This also means that our society associated femininity with all the weaker terms. If you like dressing up or just enjoy putting on makeup, it’s treated as something unnatural and superficial – when that’s not even close to true.
4. Not Being Girly
There’s no one way to be a perfect woman, whatever you do, there will always be scope for ‘improvement’. So, when being girly is not appreciated, one would assume that doing the opposite would be appreciated. Here’s a fact – it’s not. If you’re not ‘woman enough’, you’re looked at as something men wouldn’t want (as if that’s the worst thing that could happen). Clearly, even if women tried fitting in the limited criteria, they’d still not make the rest of the world happy.
5. Being Angry
So many men comment on how women are always angry. This is literally the one joke at family dinners, that we’ve all probably heard. Husbands joke about how they fear women, which is, well: A) False. B) Even if there’s some rage, it is justified, after the constant mental, physical and emotional exhaustion that women deal with. This is also not it, on top of all of this, we’ve to ASK for bare minimum things, so some anger is validated. We’re all angry, we deserve to be angry.
6. Being Assertive
So many times when women take a stand, people equate it to hysteria. It’s almost like speaking up and wanting control has a negative connotation only when these traits are associated with women. It’s healthy and a nice look only when it comes to men. Women, on the other hand, are considered bossy for saying exactly what we want.
7. Exploring Their Sexuality
When women say that they enjoy sex, it’s still considered something vulgar(?) It’s as if having any control over our bodies is frowned upon, because ‘how dare we’. We cannot also just have fun or do anything that makes us happy. The only time women are associated with sex, is when it comes to procreation – which is diabolical. It’s also sad that we literally have to FIGHT for control over ourselves.
8. Not Wanting A Serious Commitment
It’s also frowned upon when women admit not wanting a serious relationship – it’s basically just another way to character shame women. People rarely realize how relationships actually hinder opportunities for women. Even marriage is something that comes with responsibility – a lot of which is designated to the woman. To want a serious relationship is a choice, but to think that not choosing it is ‘selfish’ is just plain wrong.
9. Being A Soccer Mom
When women choose relationships, and motherhood, people want them to BE more. Being a mother, literally raising a person is not enough and so a woman who does that, is not enough. The term soccer mom is used in derogatory ways to refer to women as ‘basic’ for doing things for the kid. It is used for women who devote their time and energy to their children, but the work is considered less, just like it is, for homemakers.
It’s impossible to be a woman!
