So there are a million things we shouldn’t talk about, no, no we are exaggerating, or maybe we’re not! But an Indian stand-up comedian, Aditi Mittal, talks about everything in her video – ‘Things They Wouldn’t Let Me Say’. From eve-teasing to sex to period taboos – everything gets a new, better and honest definition in this Netflix video and they are all bang on! She has effortlessly spoken about the most serious issues we face in our country today, and yet have managed to make us laugh. We are talking about some ‘good talent’ here. And here’s why you shouldn’t miss watching it.
1. Because she’ll tell you what it’s like to be 30 and single!
‘Being a 30-year-old Indian woman and yet single is like Tupperware dabba at the back of the fridge, everyone’s like ‘is this still good?’’
2. Because she’ll tell you how to deal with eve-teasing…
‘How are you supposed to respond in a conversation that starts with chhu-chhu. He says, ‘chhu chhu’, I am like hurrrrrrrr’
3. Because she’ll give you the *real* reason why men masturbating to a girl is insane…
‘Men are masturbating to tight jeans, it’s not even like they are in love with a girl or anything.’
4. Because she’ll demonstrate how Bollywood has ruined love stories…
‘A man stares at a girl on traffic signal so she stares back at him. After two minutes of an awkward moment, man is like ‘dekhti kya hai, desperate.’
5. Because she’ll also demonstrate how Bollywood is helping a girl!
‘Bollywood is helping reduce whistling by releasing songs that are un-whistle-able like Dard-e-disco.’
6. Because she’ll tell you about the most romantic love story ever – Shah Jahan and Mumtaz
‘Shah Jahan went to Meena Bazaar dressed as a woman to pick chicks as it was a women’s only market, and found Mumtaz.’
7. Because she’ll speak about the biggest issue we are facing right now!
‘The biggest issue is that we are not pooping, we need fiber biscuits for good poop. They are even making dresses that’ll help us poop better. It’s called Dolce & Chabana.’
8. Because she’ll enlighten you about the deo you crave for…
‘Only India sells a gaswala deodorant which is also named ‘fogg’. And other deos come in with names like Ocean Breeze. What is this? Ocean’s breeze with a hint of roasted bhutta and with hues of horse manure…mmm!’
9. Because she’ll tell you why diaper ads are so tempting!
‘So these baby diaper ads zoom on a baby’s ass. Then a hand comes and takes off the diaper, and baby’s bum be like dhoom tana nana dhoom tana nana…wow.’
10. Because she’ll give you some awesome definitions!
‘Oral sex: Nothing can turn a woman on as well as when she hears ‘I love you’ and nothing turns a man on as well as when he hears ‘blow job’.
Boobs: Not all breast are created equal, some are big some are small, some don’t look like each other at all, this is what is known as Kaaniya Breast Syndrome. One is looking here, the other one is looking there!’
11. Because she’ll give you the exact taste of Martini!
‘Taste of Martini is like licking Rishi Kapoor’s armpit, after 20 minutes of cardio to really get the pores going which served in a funnel shaped glass.’
12. Because she’ll tell you the details of a sanitary pad that’ll blow your mind
‘Talking about sanitary pads in public is like standing in Hogwarts’ common hall and saying Voldemort. And girls, these pads are actually science in your chaddi with self-locking system for period blood.’
You can watch the trailer of this awesome video below!
You can watch the full video here on Netflix.
And believe us, her expressions add magic to her punches! So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and watch it now!
