Taylor Swift knows. She always knows how to articulate our deepest sufferings, passionate longings, and intense desires. Rising from the ashes of separation is draining. When years of dust-laden chapters coloured in pink skies, red hearts, and blue memories are to be strawed together one last time to be sealed in the inner corners of our hearts. Moving on from a relationship is a harrowing journey.
It is a journey that resembles a lot with grieving. As you mourn for a departed soul, you grieve for the dead relationship at the graveyard of the life you had built together. Artistically, not many have been able to tap into that emotion as closely as Taylor Swift in the modern day.
How devastating it must be to observe one’s own heartaches so profoundly, to weave them, as naked as possible, into songs and immortalise them for the world to resonate with. Yet, Swift has a secret recipe for how to do it, and she does it beautifully. There are 5 stages of grieving a doomed relationship, a heartbreak, and these 5 Taylor Swift’s songs mirror each of them perfectly:
1. Denial – It’s Happened But You Wouldn’t Accept It
Denial is the immediate shock, the numbness that follows in the aftermath of a tragedy. Like, losing a partner you thought was your forever. In that very instant, you are clueless, wondering if it’s a dream. You don’t want to accept it. You don’t want to do anything about it. Because that would mean acknowledging something about life that has changed. You’re in denial. You’re right there where you were left!
2. Anger – How Cruel Can Someone Be
You gave your everything, yet you’re the one suffering. You didn’t deserve to get your heartbroken. You’re frustrated with how unfairly life treated you. You didn’t get the chance to release your frustration. You’re raging! You’re thinking when they come the next time, you’ll never get back together with them. Like, ever.
3. Bargaining – If One Thing Had Been Different, Would Everything Be Different?
But what if they were right? What if you had not yelled? What if you had picked up that phone call? You’re lost in the world of What Ifs. You ruminate about your time together over and over again. You wonder if one thing had been different, would the final outcome have been different. Would you be still together? And you wish you would!
4. Depression – You Remember It ‘All Too Well’
The pain. It’s like the world has ended. That life doesn’t hold any meaning. You’re lost. You’re sick with your melancholia. This is the time when you realise nothing you can do or think would change the reality. You have to accept things as is. You let your emotions envelope you, hoping one day you realise it ended for good. That there’s a bright light for you out there. But right now, you remember it all too well.
5. Acceptance – You’re finally ‘Clean!’
You did it. And thank the heavens because now you see that it was all worth it. That at the end of this emotionally agonising journey, you’ve grown. Without even realising. Your life is so much better now. You’ve probably learned how to love yourself so much more than you ever did. You’re finally clean!
You won! Sometimes, knowing exactly how you’re feeling is a blessing. But it’s not always easy, is it? I resort to Taylor Swift’s songs for help.