The heart wants what it wants – let me just put that out before I start my story. Infidelity is a subject that has been talked about and debated forever and honestly, I have been as vocal about my opinion just like every other person. But I failed to live up to my words and my beliefs. So, here’s my story.
Back in the college days, I had a male friend I got along well with. We weren’t best friends but we were pretty close. He was dating a girl so I never really looked at him romantically. One day, he randomly messaged me on Instagram asking me something about my last Instagram story. It was a restaurant I’d visited and he said he wanted to eat there too.
During the conversation, he asked to see me and suddenly I felt it wasn’t the friendly little chat I was thinking it was. I still thought that it’s normal since we really got along well when we met and had had a good chat earlier that day. We went to a coffee place and talked about things. It ended with him telling me that he was in an abusive relationship with his girlfriend and needed to just get out for some time. He told me that my company took his mind off things. I still didn’t feel anything was amiss.
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So we decided to catch up over drinks in some time. One drink led to the other and we ended up kissing each other at the bar. I was awkward for a second but I wanted this too so we started kissing again. All thoughts of him being in a committed relationship had flown out of my head as I was enjoying this too much.
We ended up going over to his place and having sex. Honestly, it was really really good. I finally decided to ask him about his girlfriend and he told me that a troubled relationship was the reason why he went out with me and that my presence and company helped him deal with the difficult time since he liked me so much.
I didn’t want to decipher any signals and honestly, suddenly I felt horrible about being the other woman. Yes! He cheated on his girlfriend and I let him. But honestly, I did enjoy the attention and I really really enjoyed the sex. It was a one-off situation and we lost touch with each other after that. I really have mixed feelings about the incident and even though we still smile at each other when we cross paths, I think of the terrible thing I did to his girlfriend.
I am not sure if his girlfriend knows or if they’re still together but I feel guilty sometimes that I am not a 100 per cent sorry for what happened. In my defence, protecting her dignity and heart was more his prerogative than mine. I guess, sometimes, the heart wants what it wants!
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