Long distance. It’s everything you fear it’s going to be. But all is not terrible. Here’s what I’ve learned from over two years of back and forth.
1. Pro: You’re Always Travelling.
And that’s amazing. I am intimate with the airports of Delhi and Bombay, weekends are never boring, because you could be spending them in a different city. Plus, you get to take amazing holidays together, more so than couples who live in the same city.
Con: You’re Always Travelling.
It would be amazing if your significant other was around, not just for every other weekend, but just a random, boring Tuesday, when nothing’s going on and you really want to see them.
2. Pro: You Get To Know Each Other Really Well
All the time you don’t spend face-to-face, you spend on the phone or on Skype or emailing. All that leads to you guys having a really good friendship as well as a strong relationship.
Con: You Have To Go A Long Time Without Any Fooling Around
Perhaps the worst thing about a LDR is that you can’t get physically intimate unless both parties are in town. Grrr.
3. Pro: Your Relationship Moves Faster Than Other Relationship.
Because you’re always staying at each other’s homes when you visit, you wind up having a live-in relationship practically from the get go. This means they know all the stuff about you that would take a regular couple a lot longer to find out.
Con: You Can’t Just “Date”
There’s none of that early dating fluster. He never picks you up or drops you home, because home is the same place for both of you. You never have a chance to get truly dressed up and surprise him at a restaurant unless you plan ahead.
4. Pro: It’s Usually Just The Two Of You.
Your friends understand that when your boyfriend is in town, they don’t hear from you and vice versa. You have swathes of intimate alone time, and that’s amazing.
Con: You Don’t Really Get To Know Each Other’s Friends
When you’re in town for such a little while, it can be hard to meet all the people that he or you are constantly talking about. So, even though you’d love your best friend to get to know your boyfriend, it’s hard to arrange unless the timing is perfect.
5. Pro: You Get To Live Your Own Life
People complain that sometimes they can feel stifled in relationships. With a LDR, you’re free to develop your own interests, go to parties alone, and spend one-on-one time with friends you’ve been neglecting. It’s like the best of both worlds.
Con: It’s Hard To Be A “We”
You watch your couple friends and the plans they make together, and you’d really like it to be the two of you.
6. Pro: You Can Work Towards An “End Date”
Something every successful LDR should have is an “end date,” i.e., the time when you go from being long distance to no distance. Figuring out how you can do this makes it a lot easier to live in two separate cities, and turns potential fights into excited planning for the future.
Con: Sometimes There Is No End Date
You can’t always figure out your life two steps ahead. Maybe it’s looking impossible right now—but don’t give up. As always, it’s important to know what you want and whether the person you’re with fits into that goal. Never try to make someone do something they don’t want to do. Long distance, like every other relationship, requires a little love, and a lot of hard work.
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