I remember my friend telling me their partner cheated on them because — and I quote — ‘they couldn’t resist the urge’. She broke down as she voiced the sentence, and I wondered how can somebody do this to a person they claim they love.
Cheating is the WORST thing you can do to your partner if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Yes, relationships are complicated. Yes, the road to navigating a long-term healthy equation is not easy. It’s a journey that requires two-sided efforts, understanding, and respect every day. Yet, infidelity is more common than we’d like to believe. And more often than not, the culprits offer the lamest, non-acknowledging, hollow excuses in the name of explanations. Just like my friend, many women online have also shared the lamest rationale they have heard their former partners offer for cheating on them. Take a look:
1. “My ex told me that he was chatting with other women on dating sites because he needed someone to talk to when I was busy with the kids.”
2. “My ex told me he didn’t want to lose me or his other girlfriend, he liked us both and ‘wanted us both in his life.’ He was dating her when he met me, I genuinely had no clue until we broke up.”
3. “My ex kept telling me it was ‘just porn’. Like sorry no, if you know the women personally, it is not just porn.”
4. “It means I love you more. I may mess around with other girls but at the end of the day, I’ll always come home to you and choose to stick with you.”
5. “You weren’t paying attention to me anymore, you spend so much time with our baby looking after it, breastfeeding it, sleeping in the same room with it, and we haven’t had sex in months so I slept with someone else.”
6. “That it meant he loved me more than I loved him because he had options during the relationship and “chose” me. I, on the other hand, was clearly not as in love with him because me not cheating meant I couldn’t find anyone else who wanted to be with me.”
7. “My wife was pregnant, so I wasn’t getting any.”
8. “I didn’t even enjoy it because I was thinking about you the whole time and I felt terrible.”
9. “Someone once told me, “It doesn’t count if it’s in a different zip code.” And I noped right the heck out. A S.O. I had once told me, ‘Well I wouldn’t have cheated if you were around.’ When I was on a two-week pre-planned trip. And he couldn’t see why I’d break up with him over it.”
10. “Not me personally but my friend’s boyfriend cheated on her multiple times and emotionally manipulated her into believing that she was boring so that’s why he went looking elsewhere. It was pretty tragic. She kept taking him back.”
11. “Silence. Just complete silence. He said nothing. He started packing, I said a good idea.”
Open and honest communication >>> Keeping your partner in darkness at a stretch because you’re too cowardly to face them until they find out on their own.