Everyone keeps telling us how to give a good blow job. The sheer amount of content that is on the internet to help you give a great blow job is crazy (including ours!) I got to thinking just how well these oral sex tips work because the practical thing is worlds away from what theory would have us believe. So I lured in my subject, my boyfriend, with an offer he just could not refuse – a promise of multiple blow jobs. I sucked him dry (literally!) to know just how well they worked here are our combined ratings and thoughts on the same!
FYI, he did not know what tip I was using. I told him later! But he’s not complaining, he’s a satisfied man right now!
1. Stop Thinking Of It As A Job
I’ve read this in so many advice columns that women need to stop thinking about blow job as a job. My question to them is why call it a ‘blow job’ then? Why not blow-fun? Or Blow-gasm?
My Rating: 9/10
Verdict: The first time I read the tip, I went home immediately to try it. And oh my god yes! I let go of all inhibitions and preconceived notions to try and enjoy it. And funnily enough, I did! The kind of pleasure I could give my boyfriend was unmatched by any other thing and it is such a heady feeling. Would totally recommend!
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2. Make Eye Contact
Another one that I’ve heard a lot and continue to find everywhere is to stare into his eyes. For a few seconds, my boyfriend seemed to be really diggin’ the eye contact but then he just closed his eyes. But being the perfectionist that I am, I did not look away even once. Continuous eye contact was the theme of the night! Later, he told me to never do it again!
My Rating: 6/10
Verdict: A few glances here and there are fine but please, for the love of all that is holy, do not stare into his eyes for a long duration. It gets really creepy, really fast!
3. Fake Deepthroating
I have what you call a strong gag reflex. Deepthroating is a HUGE issue for me! So I hoped and prayed and promised to offer a tiny part of my soul for this tip to work. It said that I should touch the tip of my tongue to the roof of my mouth and then take him in my mouth. It would feel like l am deepthroating – making his and my life easier!
My Rating: 10/10
Verdict: Yes, yes, hell yes!! This does work and how. For him it felt like he was hitting the back of my throat (his dream) and for me there was no gagging! Complete winner. *Thunderous applause*
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4. Combination Works Best
Apparently, blow jobs aren’t just about using your mouth. You need to use your hands as well. Let’s just say it sounds like too much work!
My Rating: 7/10
Verdict: It worked amazingly well for him. He was in pleasure heaven but it felt like serious work for me. My jaw was tired and my arms aren’t seriously used to the workout. But this might work. I’m still undecided so I’ll try it again!
5. Change Up The Temperature
Changing up the temperature is supposed to be a genius tip to get him to his peak. Either drink super cold water or suck on an ice cube before sucking him and he’ll feel super awesome. You could do that with hot tea too!
My Rating: 9/10
Verdict: It really was minimal work on my part and he seemed to love it. We both agreed that it was amazeballs, even if it could get a little sloppy at times.
6. Lube Is Your Friend
Since the penis tastes like, well a penis, it’s supposed to be a good idea to use flavoured lube to keep things smooth and yummy!
My Rating: 4/10
Verdict: NO! Sorry, not happening. Slipperiest and sloppiest head I’ve ever given. Plus, flavoured lube sucks! Lubes are not meant for blow jobs!
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7. Play With The Balls
For a guy, his balls are just as sensitive as the penis so for some good lovin’, you’re supposed to pay just as much attention, if not more, to them!
My Rating: 5/10
Verdict: Excuse me! Was giving a simple blow job not hard enough that now you’re adding the balls to the mix too? And exactly what am I supposed to do with them. Completely another tutorial that I need to watch…maybe later!
Try some of these yourself and tell us how they were!
GIFs: Giphy
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