You need to plan an alcohol free wedding?! First, our sympathies! And cue the wails from your sharaabi friends. Don’t worry! We have a fool-proof plan to keep your friends happy and the older family members clueless.
1. Forewarned is forearmed
Warn your friends and family beforehand that there’s no alcohol at the wedding. You don’t want to be embarrassed in front of your grandmother with queries like, “Bar kahaan hai?” Instead, tell them that you have made *ahem* discreet arrangements.
2. Rope in your siblings
Nominate a ‘responsible’ cousin (siblings are usually too busy running around) to carry the supplies to the party. Any time a friend comes up to you, tell them to contact him/her for a good time *wink*.
3. Yes, there’s car-o-bar!
What’s a wedding without car-o-bar? Get your party starter cousins and friends together. They’ll keep each other company all night long!
4. A liquid ‘welcome’ gift?
Why not? Send out stealthily wrapped quarters of your poison of choice to your sharaabi friends and family’s rooms as they arrive for the wedding.
5. Wedding favours bhi yahi!
Send a hip flask and a chottu daaru bottle to the ones you know absolutely can’t live without their tipple.
6. Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
Pre-gaming and after parties are your secret weapons. If you keep the booze flowing, trust us, no one will complain.
7. Prep the mocktail bar
You know they are going to adulterate your pristine mocktails. So get some drinks and mixers – orange juice, soda, fizzy drinks etc – on the bar menu that go well with booze. Bonus: no one will guess that they are not being drunk ‘neat’!
8. Ek baar to kar lo!
If there is room for negotiation, plan at least one ceremony where you can have an open bar. A reception or Bollywood night have no religious ceremonies attached to them, so these are perfect.
9. Establish a control room
Yes, that’s what it’s called. Keep aside one room for your sharaabi guests, stock it with all sorts of alcohol, mixers and snacks, and make everyone happy!
10. Ye to hamara traditional sharbat hai!
The venue doesn’t allow alcohol? Smuggle in a punch in individual bottles. If the management asks, just say (with a straight face), “It’s our ghar ka traditional welcome drink.”
11. And the password is ‘swordfish’!
If you feel capable of pulling off an intrigue, ask the barman to discreetly stock up on alcohol. And instruct him to dole out ‘firewater’ only to those guests who have the correct password!
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