While we love Debina Bonnerjee and Gurmeet Choudhary’s goofy vlogs, recently one of their videos left us shocked. In the video titled, Managing time between 2 infants, the actress made a racist comment. In the clip, Debina was talking about whom does her daughter look like, and she replied, “Ek secret batati hu, she looks like a firang, aacha hai African nahi dikhti (I’ll tell you a secret, she looks like a foreigner. Good that she doesn’t look like an African)”
After hearing Debina’s take, here’s what I want to tell her today:
Dear Debina,
When you claimed that in your YouTube vlog that your daughter looks like a ‘firang’ but ‘thankfully’ not an ‘African’, you just pulled the carpet under everyone who believes in equality. Your giggles echoed in my mind for hours after I watched the video. I wonder what do you mean by looking like an African? Were you worried that your daughter will *cue shock* dark?
Although you punctuated this thought of yours with a goofy expression and laughter, it didn’t take away the racist sting of the comment.
Over the years, I’ve watched countless Bollywood actresses shoving skin-lightening creams and lotions down my throat. I have seen family members fall over themselves in envy of light-skinned folks as they have the ‘firang’ look. Meanwhile, dark-skinned people were the butts of endless jokes and rejections. So, often they have tried to try to scrub off their darkness like it is something to be ashamed of.
Perhaps years of colonialism have left us ashamed of being dark. Fair skin bias was perpetuated and strongly reinforced by our European rulers who used to demean us. But why should you let those shackles control you even today?
So, Debina instead of just shaming you for your oh-so-obvious racist comment, how about I educate you instead? This sentiment of colourism and anti-Blackness is something that many of us are guilty of collectively. Perhaps, you have inadvertently made being prejudiced against dark-skinned people a fact, when it is not. A prejudice is a pre-conceived notion that is not based on any real experience or logic and you can choose to unlearn it.
You are a mother to two adorable daughters and it is now your job to raise them with the belief that your skin colour doesn’t matter. What matters is kindness, courage and empathy. They might stumble upon this video in future and question you. I hope you are ready to answer.
I am not writing this letter to diss you or mock you. I am here to tell you that it is time for you to say better things.
Debina, I truly believe this is a new starting point, not an endpoint. Nothing we do today will erase generations of institutionalised oppression, discrimination and racism. But we can learn and unlearn. While no one gets it right every time on social media, this can’t be an excuse for your racist comments.
From
Your well-wisher
