How to find a life partner? A question that is looming large in most millennial’s minds. But to be quite honest, there’s no real answer to it! In this fast-moving, click-happy world, nobody has the time to meet each other in person… Everything is a virtual reality. And probably that’s where the fun begins. In an era of Tinder swipes and glorified ‘one night stands’, we must say, our Indian matrimonial sites still take the roost in the ‘funny’ department. We come across many such threads on Quora that made us laugh our guts out because of the hilarious wants and requirements. Take a look!
Here are some super hilarious matrimonial threads we came across on Quora:
Are you partially Manglik? You don’t want your girl to disappear!
When the pandit told Nitesh that the girl would die if she married him (he was Maanglik, obviously), he readily let her go. Nitesh says, “I did try my best to convince both the parents and the girl but I was asked not to contact her ever again by her dad. So that ended pretty bad. Now, I can at least live by the fact that someone is alive and breathing thanks to me!”
The girl who was looking for an Ambani kind of a husband!
Incidentally, the girl’s family was a gold digger and wanted Nitesh to buy a home even before they got married. Nitesh shares, “Not only this, her parents asked me for 6 months bank statements, IT returns and instructed me to purchase a flat in Mumbai before the marriage happened so that they were sure of the girl’s financial security. It was surprising to me because this was coming from somebody who earned a mere 2 lakh per annum and expected the guy to buy a 2 Crore flat in Mumbai.”
When your Rahu and Ketu are way too much in a rush!
In most matrimonial ads, your name is not the most important, instead, it is your date of birth and time which decides your holy union. “No hello, no how are you, just the time and date of birth. The kundli part could have come later in the conversation, I think her Rahu and Ketu were too much in a hurry,” shares Nitesh.
When the groom is sexually unfit due to stress of previous divorce and spiritual too!
Naveen Metta shared a matrimonial ad he came across which said, “Sincere, spiritual, caring life partner or companion for 32 yrs. H’some, affect., caring boy, sexually unfit due to stress of previous divorce (curable), only son. Salary 27/PM. Caste, status no bar, simple marriage.” Like REALLY!
Where the girl is supposed to have a body mass index of 20–24. NOT Kidding!
Vijaya Lakshmi shared a matrimonial ad she came across which mentioned, “Looking for a bride for our son who is 38 years old and divorced one year ago. She should be beautiful and have a body mass index of 20–24.” Yes sure, only if he has the same BMI too!
And it doesn’t end here. We have some more in stock for you to take you on a laughter ride with this rib-tickling matrimonial profile we found on Quora, shared by Madhu S Ashok. We are serious, you can’t afford to miss it…
Madam,
I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so.
I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.
GIFs: Tumblr
