I hate chocolate! Great, now that I have your attention, let me tell you that that statement is 100% true. While chocolate may be something that is universally loved, it’s also the one thing that I detest. In fact, it’s the one thing that I’ve always hated since childhood. For almost 20 years, I never even tasted my own birthday cake!
Now I know that reading this is making all the chocolate lovers cringe but there are also those who are going ‘that’s so me’. And if you’re one of them then, I feel you. In a world full of chocolate-crazy people, we have it hard. Not that we have a problem with chocolate lovers but being judged for our taste is no fun at all. So, here’s a shoutout to all the chocolate haters who can relate to the horrors of eating a bar of gooey sweetness.
1. You What?
God save you from that shocked look when you tell them that you hate chocolate. Either they’re going to look at you like you’ve sinned or like you’re insane. Some icebreaker that is!
2. How Can You Hate CHOCOLATE?
Usually, this question is followed by several others asking you to elaborate why and how you hate chocolate and what is it that you don’t like about it. Honestly, what’s there to like about it? You don’t hear us asking stupid questions, do you? And hear this –I can and I will hate chocolate. Period.
3. Want Some Chocolate?
You dread the moment when someone politely offers you a bar of chocolate–maybe ‘coz they don’t know that you hate it or maybe they’re just ignorant. Either way, having to remind someone that you hate chocolate is just as bad as telling them the first time. And it’s a vicious cycle of reminding them again and again and again for the rest of your lives.
4. Just Try It Once!
‘Ek baar try to karke dekh‘ just like every non-drinker, we’ve heard this too. Every second person you meet tries to convince you that chocolate ain’t all that bad. And their arguments in favour of chocolate do not hold any value whatsoever ‘coz it’s never gonna happen.
5. Take All My Chocolate
This has happened with you far too many times. Ever since your childhood, you’ve been the one giving away all your candies, chocolate and desserts to others including your birthday cake. If you had a penny for every chocolate or candy you’ve given away, you’d be a millionaire.
6. Are You On A Diet?
Nope, I just hate chocolate. Why is that so difficult to understand? I’m not avoiding chocolate because of some diet, I simply hold immense hatred for it in my heart that is going to remain forever.
7. Sweet Cravings Are Hell On Earth
Just because you don’t like chocolate doesn’t mean you don’t like sweets altogether. But it does limit your options when you’re craving something sweet. And god forbid if you order that raspberry tart and it comes with chocolate syrup, all hell WILL break loose.
8. Fellow Chocolate Hater!
You go into a frenzy when you meet a fellow chocolate hater ‘coz they’re the only ones who get you. A surprised gasp, lots of excited screaming and an ally for life is what you get when you find someone who can relate to your pain.
Being a chocolate hater is like harbouring a horrific secret and people will totally lose their mind when they find out about it. More importantly, your partner does not know what to get you when you’re angry ‘coz chocolate just isn’t gonna work. But hey, there’s nothing wrong with hating chocolate!
Feature Image: Freepik
