If you’re an unmarried woman in your 30s, there’s no way you haven’t been hounded by nosey aunties who constantly advise you to get married. ‘Arey beta, jaldi shaadi karlo, umar ho rahi hai tumhaari’ is something every unmarried woman over 30 has heard at least once! A lot of people will have you believe that you’re incomplete if you’re not with someone, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. The idea of romance is far too romanticized, but an increasing number of women are choosing to be single for countless reasons, and are actually much happier this way!
Mandy Hale was on point when she wrote, “Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” We came across a Reddit thread where women over 30 revealed what keeps them single, and why they have chosen not to get married or involved in a serious romantic relationship. It’s always a good idea to hear different perspectives, so whether you’re married or unmarried, you’ve gotta check out these responses by women who are choosing to stay single and enjoy life on their own terms.
Don’t Need No Romantic Partner For A Happy Life!
“I’ve spent the last three years single by choice, and I’ve never felt more at peace. I’ve chosen not to date because, A) it causes me anxiety, B) I realized that actually-compatible relationships are very rare (so the anxiety isn’t worth it), and C) I realized that having a romantic partner isn’t required in order to live a happy and fulfilled life (so, again, anxiety not really worth it!).
This isn’t to say I’m not open to it, I’m just not actively participating and it’s not on my radar. Ideally, for me, if a relationship happens – I’d like it to be a person I already know (who knows me pretty well) where a connection develops over time. The idea of “dating new people” sounds nightmarish to me at this point, and the feminism and anticapitalism running through my veins usually means I end up being turned off for some reason or another, as soon as I start getting to know a person. The pool seems deep but murky. Not feeling inspired by what I see out there these days.” -Reddit user book__werm
Don’t Wanna Be Slotted Into Someone Else’s Story
“I just want to be able to do what makes me happy and live the life I want without having to give up my own well-being for a partner who expects me to help them meet their own, very different, life goals. I genuinely have no plans to actively date or pursue relationships going forward. If I meet someone truly compatible I am absolutely open but I don’t want to end up in another situation where I feel slotted into someone else’s story.”- Reddit user excellentacorn
No Patience To Date!
“Truthfully speaking….. I love my time to myself…. At 41 I just don’t have the patience to want to date… and I’m happy with that”- Reddit user ShondaGives
Freedom To Be Myself
“So many reasons! I get to be selfish 100% of the time. I get to be doing what I want, eating what I want, buying what I want, spending time doing nothing if that’s what I want. No one is forcing me to talk, or share a space. No one is asking me to repeat myself or tell them about my day. Just… freedom to do me. Sleep in my own bed. No one to disturb my sleep or mess my space up. I don’t have to sacrifice my future or my hopes or dreams and desires for someone. I can pick up and move to any city, country if I really wanted to. Visit friends, family. See my friends without feeling guilty I’m not investing in a relationship.”- Anonymous
‘Cos You Create Your Own Happiness!
“What keeps me single by choice: 1. Financial independence 2. I don’t experience loneliness. I am the source of my own happiness. 3. I enjoy being free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with no limitations, restrictions or obligations. I do occasionally have romantic interests but I don’t expect to ever be in a “committed” relationship again because I want to be free.” –Reddit user squatter_
Content Being On My Own
Same. Additionally for me, I have my own issues and problems that I’m navigating through. I don’t want to have to live/deal with someone else’s problems too. And we all got problems, I just want to deal with my own. Sounds harsh probably, but I’m the most content and satisfied with life just being on my own.” -Reddit user squeeze_me_macaroni
Starting To Feel Joy Being In My Own Space
“I realized I was picking guys for reasons that weren’t good for me and that I had some deep seated fear/aversion to being alone. Like my existence in and of itself was not worthwhile without a relationship, or that pursuing life goals alone wasn’t worth it without a relationship. I’m happy to report that about 6 months after moving into my very own place and being very alone, I’m really starting to feel joy being in my own space and making it nice for myself.
It has also made me sad to think about how many things I didn’t do for myself while in my past relationships because I’d get so lost in them or it wasn’t what they wanted so I’d put stuff off. I don’t want to get lost like that again. I’m going to stay single until I feel confident I can date and maintain my sense of self and not fall for the same toxic dudes I always fall for.”- Reddit user handsomewizard
Unimpressed With What’s Out There
At this point I am single by choice because I just am not impressed with what is out there. I can fend for myself, have sex regularly and do whatever I want without someone else to worry about. I have dated extensively and really it meant me having to negotiate my schedule, rarely have sex, and enough things I lost interest.” –Reddit user Nopenotme77
Less Drama, More Adventures!
“I’m about to turn 35. I own my own house, have a great job, hobbies that I love and good friends. I am open to meeting someone, but I also value independence and I don’t see that mirrored in people that I meet. Also, I have a difficult time distinguishing between valuing independence and emotional unavailability, so I’m pretty content just being by myself. Less drama! And more spontaneous adventures”- Reddit user IntenseKen
Clearly, these answers prove that being single and focusing on yourself is definitely better than wasting time over wrong people!
Featured Image: YouTube