Yes, I’m A 28 YO Woman & No, My Family Is In No Hurry To Get Me Married

“Beta, atthais ki ho gayi ho tum, ab shaadi ka kya socha hai?”

This was how most relatives wished me on my birthday, two months ago. I’m not kidding. It’s true (read bizarre) and this is the worst thing to hear on the day which was supposed to celebrate ME.

It’s ridiculous how relatives, who don’t congratulate me on my promotions or celebrate my achievements, think that they can ‘guide’ me by saying that it’s time to get married because I have reached a certain age.

It’s the same relatives who themselves got married at 18 and had the responsibility of kids and household work at 20. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shaming the women who decide to get married and settle early in their lives. It’s a brilliant choice for those who are ready to take on the responsibilities that come with it. In fact, my mother got married when she was 20 and had me when she was 25, and doesn’t regret it one bit.

However, each woman has her own dreams, and mine is far (so far) from getting married – at least right now. From setting a certain benchmark for my career and having clear travel goals to saving funds for financial freedom, I have been clear with my goals since the beginning.

To be honest, it’s my family who made it all possible for me.

It was not some random relative, but my father who taught me how to drive and do bank work at a very young age. Even though he was always around for things, he made me and my sisters learn everything so that we don’t have to ask him or our future husbands for help regarding personal matters.

It was not a nosey auntie from the neighborhood who let me learn photography rather than focusing on cooking in the kitchen with her, it was my mother. While we talked about my crushes and boyfriends, she never ever asked me if I intended to tie the knot with that man or told me that I should. 

I remember how my relatives started discussing marriages when I finished school, but my parents asked me not to listen to anyone and to get a degree and a job – because that’s what matters the most.

Now, I must admit that there was substantial amount of restriction. I wasn’t allowed to go for night-outs and sleepovers during my entire childhood and adulthood – I’m still not. However, they never questioned my choices or asked me not to do the things I liked.

Interestingly, both my sisters got married when they were 32, and most importantly, when they were ready for their commitments. Again, our relatives started poking when they were 25-ish, but my parents never really cared.

Last month, I went to a cousin’s wedding and of course, my relatives couldn’t resist asking their favourite question. To my surprise, my father – who, by the way, doesn’t like to engage in random conversations – told them that I am not planning to get hitched soon and if my younger cousins want to go ahead and get married, it’s absolutely okay with me.

For the first time ever, I had nothing to tell my relatives – I didn’t feel the need to shut them or tell them to back off. I let out a sigh and left the conversation with the biggest smile on my face because I knew my family had my back.

To be honest, it’s not like I never think about this. I recently started wondering about the future. I mean, I’m twenty-eight now and have no boyfriend (I don’t even have friends, at this moment) – how would this even result for me down the line? I think that we all have been there, thinking this all night long.

I know that I want to get married and have children in the future, but is it necessary to put a date to it as soon as someone turns 28? Even when I do choose to tie the knot, it’s not something that my relatives should get to decide or comment on. 

However, I feel so content knowing that my parents aren’t in a rush to get me married soon. Every time I think about it, I felt like a burden has been lifted off my chest and I don’t need to worry about this yet. I know I can focus on essential things like my career and dreams.

I feel fortunate that my family, my parents and sisters, always kept my dreams and choices a priority and never asked me to quit and get married. They lifted me when I went through several breakups and asked me to focus on better things. I wouldn’t have been here, writing this, if it wasn’t for them and the freedom they gave me.

These humans have been the air beneath my wings so that I could fly freely!