Navigating the complexities of modern dating can be irritating, especially for women who often find themselves at the receiving end of unsolicited advice and expectations. Amidst the cacophony of male voices claiming to know better, maintaining your patience is an unappreciated art, especially when it comes to first dates or relationships.
Recently, a thread on Twitter caught my eye – not for its hilarious contents, but for its candid revelations about the turn-offs for men on first dates. I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier as I read through scrolls of “if she wears too much makeup” or “if she wears revealing clothes“. As someone who loves makeup and wearing what I want, I was appalled.
Dates should be an exploration of mutual interest, not an exercise in tolerance. If men can have ridiculous expectations from women, is it too much to even ask for the basic from them? Diving straight into the less talked about, sometimes unsavoury realities of men – a sneak peek into what women expect on first dates.
Get A Signature Scent
As someone who has been dating casually since college, my advice is ‘Be the Onion.’ Have layers. Be interesting. But please, don’t actually smell like one. A decent smelling perfume will take you a long way, trust me.
Stay Hydrated
Let’s get one thing straight: hydration isn’t just for those 2-litre-a-day health nuts. A well-hydrated body means plump, happy skin, and lips that aren’t desperately clinging for chapstick. Think about it. Your date’s probably sipping on water all day to keep that glow, and you can’t apply a lip balm?
Please Brush Your Teeth
We’re living in a world where your smile competes with filters and FaceTune. Your date’s probably spent more time whitening their teeth than you’ve spent contemplating flossing. Yellow, coffee-stained teeth? Stuff stuck in between? That’s a swipe left in real life. Pearly whites are a ticket to the second date.
Iron Your Clothes, Boo
Here’s a hot take: your wrinkled tee and those jeans you’ve worn three days in a row aren’t screaming “date material.” They’re whispering, “I couldn’t be bothered.” Your date’s out here coordinating outfits, accessories, and definitely even their underwear. The least you can do is put on something that says, “Yes, I do own an iron,” or “I know what a washing machine does.”
Put Your Phone Down
Guess what? Being rude to the waiter, staring at your phone more than your date’s face, or chewing with your mouth open isn’t just bad form; it’s dating suicide. Your date’s likely rehearsed a dozen conversation starters and is trying to show you their best side. If your phone is more interesting than your company, maybe you should be dating it instead.
Buy A Comb?
If she’s spending hours getting every hair in place or choosing a hairstyle that complements her features, you can at least run a comb through yours. Birds nesting in your hair might be great for wildlife documentaries, but not so much for dates. And let’s not even start on the jungle downstairs. A trim shows you care about your appearance (and her comfort).
Clean Nails Is The Game
Look, if I’ve spent my time choosing the perfect shade of nail colour to match my outfit, the least you can do is ensure yours aren’t a horror show. We’re talking clean, trimmed, and dirt-free. And don’t get me started on gnawed-on nails. It’s simple: clip, clean, and you’re on your way to hand-holding heaven.
Moisturise, Because Cracks Are For Sidewalks
Your hands shouldn’t be a texture map. Honestly, why are you walking around with hands that could sand wood? A little moisturiser goes a long way. Dry, cracked hands are a tactile turn-off. Keep them soft, and we might just want to keep holding on.
Gentlemen, consider this your wake-up call. A little effort goes a long way in transforming ‘Love at First Swipe’ into ‘Happily Ever After’. After all, in the world of modern dating, it’s not just about finding the right one – it’s about being the right one. And sometimes, that starts with a comb and ends with moisturiser.
Featured Images: Instagram