We’ve all been there. Our first heartbreak. The moment someone tells you it’s over. That even though the two of you will continue to live in the same world, breathe the same air, the concept of ‘you and him’ or ‘you and her’ is now over. That moment when it feels like a beast has unleashed itself in your chest, roaring, but the only thing that escapes your lips is a long heavy sigh. The one that is supposed to make all the noise but doesn’t.
The time I had my first heartbreak, I couldn’t put into words the emotion. Thankfully I found a book that did. It said –
‘When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when it breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think as it’s so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.’
That’s heartbreak, it doesn’t make a sound. It sneaks up on you and leaves you shattered, unable to draw a breath without letting a stitch undone. You turn into a mess, you can’t speak, listen, get up, or lie down. Absolutely nothing.
I had my first heartbreak three years ago. I spent months just crying my eyes out and while it did seem quite ridiculous at that point of time, I am glad I shed all those tears. They were for a man who deserved it. He might have left me at the worst possible time but he had been there for me on several other low moments and for the sake of those moments, I cried. No matter what people say, it doesn’t make you a weak person. If anything, it helps you overcome because, if not today, then tomorrow, you will run out of tears.
And slowly, this dreadful thing that happened to me turned into something I never want to go back to, something I will never forget but something that I am glad happened to me. Yes, I know, it’s beginning to sound cliche but trust me, fellow heartbroken person, that this helplessness, this worthless feeling will pass.
And then you can see things a little more clearly. You can see why it didn’t work out. Why there is no right or wrong – it’s all just shades of grey!
I won’t say you will find someone else to love. I don’t know if you will. I don’t even know if I will. But there is something I know, I know I will be all right. I will find love, because since when are we only restricted to loving the opposite sex? There are tons of reasons to love the people in my life at this moment, the most important fact being that they’re still here.
As time passes, the pain will reduce. Say that to yourself day in and day out and one day you will believe. You will believe and learn – to live, laugh and let go.
Don’t make your first heartbreak your weakness. Don’t make it the cause of your downfall. Make it your strength. Make it the reason you muster that smile every morning. Because here is the secret to overcoming a painful heartbreak – only you can do it.
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