You might be best buds with your boyfriend, but some things go unsaid even in the most frank relationships. Sometimes these things are implied, sometimes you just don’t want to bring it up because you’re not quite sure. Here are 10 slightly uncomfortable conversations that you need to have with your guy – no matter what!
1. Let there be blood
Yes, we girls menstruate five days of the month. No amount of carefulness will help prevent an occasional blip, a leak, a blotch of blood on your side of the bed. You have no reason to hide your pads, because your periods are not a cause of shame. And you need to tell him that.
2. About all things sex
You guys might have different preferences but there has to be a point of consensus. Be assertive and don’t shy away from talking about what you like in bed. Including the fact that unless you are trying to conceive, not wearing a condom is not an option.
3. Your long-term goals
It might be the case that one of you likes living in the moment and the other person wants to plan everything down to a T. And that’s okay. But as adults, you guys need to be aware of it if you absolutely adore each other and see a future together.
4. Fears and conflicts
Your lives have had different trajectories. You and your partner might be unnerved by different things but you need to able to confide and share your insecurities and struggles. Talk about the incidents which have shaped you and also the ones which weren’t quite pleasant.
5. And finances too
This might get a bit tricky because thanks to our patriarchal upbringing, sometimes guys feel that they’re expected to pay for everything. But sit him down and tell him that since you both are financially independent, every expense should be shared – or you can take turns to pick up the bill.
6. Bring up your past
Because it has made you the person you are today. Not matter how traumatic or embarrassing it might be for you, if your past is somewhat resurfacing in your present and in your relationship, you need to discuss it with your guy.
7. About friends and family
Just because you guys are in a committed relationship, you don’t have to be absolutely smitten by each other’s friends and family. Of course, it is great if you do, but if you can’t bring yourself to do it, for whatever reasons, have the uncomfortable conversation. Ensure him that in spite of your reservations, you’ll still be amicable with them.
8. That ex who is never out of the picture
It will always be jarring if you partner continues to be in touch with someone whom he used to be in love with. If their present equation upsets you, for the sake of your emotional sanity, please discuss the issue with him.
9. Personal space and boundaries
There is no doubt that you love spending time with him, but sometimes you also need your ‘me time’, when you can curl up with a book or watch your favourite shows. We know this is a tough one to bring up, without making him feel unpleasant… But even then, try and be honest and explain why you like being left alone at times.
10. Also some good ol’ feminism
If you believe in equality and in a healthy relationship, you know what we are talking about. So the chores will be divided in half, he need not pull out a chair for you or open the restaurant door. But he needs to treat you with the respect and consideration that you show him. And if you don’t want to change your surname after marriage, feel free to bring that up too.
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