27 Thoughts I Had While Watching Bigg Boss Last Night

I watched Bigg Boss season 11, episode 25.2 (I don’t know what that means, 25.2?). But I am not a stranger to the format, I remember following the first season when it aired, religiously; I was in school and got into a lot of trouble for staying up past bedtime. But it was fun! At least I thought it was. Now though, as an adult, I can’t be bothered with other people’s problems anymore. There is enough drama in my own life, trust me, I live a very ‘Mean Girls’ life. Also, doesn’t watching someone like this give you secondhand anxiety? Anyways, here goes nothing.

1. Salman Khan is hosting the show, seems pretty harmless for now.

2. I literally just recognise Dhinchak Pooja out of the entire lot, and for all the wrong reasons.

3. What is that impression? Am I missing an inside joke? Is Salman mimicking someone?

4. So everybody is sharing their deepest darkest secrets so they can stay safe during the vote out? Seems pretty sadistic to me.

5. Wow! This house is so colourful, are those Kingfishers on the walls?

6. No wait, a few TV actors. I know these people.

7. One person is out the door, everybody is sad. Glad that hasn’t changed since the first season. Also, one of the walls is covered with buttons? This house looks so confusing.

8. So many inside jokes I don’t understand… There is a man who has blonde hair and is currently getting his chest waxed. EWW.

9. Why have I agreed to watch this cringe-worthy content that I am scared to find funny (but I kinda do)? They might have just waxed off his (Aakash’s) nipple.

10. Oh my god Jallad just laughed! Now I don’t feel so guilty about finding this hilarious.

11. Do these boys know that waxing doesn’t actually kill you?! “Bhai main marr jayunga” No, you won’t, that’s my weekend routine right there.

12. This is exactly the kind of quality television I need in my life, maybe I should invest in a TV. Also, who would have thought that Pooja would spend all her time sitting quietly in the corner?

13. I am done with 30 minutes of this show, now I miss trashy reality show.

14. Looks scary, they make people sleep in a jail? That took an unexpected turn.

15. So now Salman is showing the house members close ups of dirty dishes and I might just throw up… fast forwarding this.

16. This Arshi chick has me tripping on the amount of colours she has on.

17. Oh my god, they’re fighting over who is the most unorganised person. Deja vu feels, throwback to the time I had these conversations with my flatmates.

18. Now everybody is crying cause Arshi made fun of Asthma, knew I didn’t like her! (I’m picking sides, I’m officially a part of the Bigg Boss fan club).

19. So much yelling, so many taunts, so entertaining, is this scripted?

20. Is it normal for the contestants to flirt with Salman?

21. More yelling, somehow Dhinchak Pooja isn’t a part of it. Is she the sane one inside the house?

22. Salman-themed wrestling ring? I approve.

23. Wait they’re not actually wrestling? This is giving me Takeshi’s Castle feels.

24. Yayyyyyyy Priyank won! I don’t know why I’m so excited by this.

25. The old contestants are judging the new ones, for not making lasting relationships on a reality TV show? Okay.

26. Now they’re sharing secrets, and I’ve honestly heard better the last time I played truth or dare.

27. Question, how old is Pooja? Is she old enough to be on this show? Anyways, she’s gone now. It makes me sad because she was the only face I recognised.

28. 67 minutes and I give up. To all of you who follow this show, I am thoroughly impressed with your patience! Hats off and good luck!