Student Of The Year 2: 73 Thoughts I Had While Watching Tiger Shroff Acrobat For 2h 26m

Bollywood sequels have a terrible reputation. And after watching Student Of The Year 2, I can’t argue otherwise. In the movie, everyone is competing for something called the Dignity Cup. What’s that, you ask? A cup that promises dignity. Although no character in the film came out with even a shred of it. Produced by Karan Johar and directed by Punit Malhotra, this movie is a swankier and unrealistic version of Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar. If you haven’t had a chance to catch the trailer yet, watch it here. 

 

Source: YouTube

Partly sexist and without a storyline, this KJo movie turned out to be just a launchpad for debutants Tara Sutaria and Ananya Panday. Also featuring Tiger Shroff and his stoic expressions, the movie is a clear cut match between the very very middle class Tiger Shroff (aka Rohan aka Ro-Ro) and the very very rich Aditya Seal (aka Manav aka the antagonist). That’s all there is to it.

Before I give my final verdict (points for guessing LOL!), here are 73 thoughts I had while watching the movie:

1. OMG! The opening credits! I’m just excited about watching Will Smith’s cameo and ex-student Alia Bhatt.

2. Sameer Soni is the principal of Saint Teresa! Why is he shouting so much? Oh, he just declared the ‘Student of the Year’ competition open. Already?

3. Enter Tara Sutaria aka Mridula aka small town girl with big dreams. That hair flip tho!

4. Tiger Shroff should not be allowed to wear shorts. How will I ever unsee this?

5. Tara shouting ‘Rohan Rohan’ is so Poo from K3G!

6. Rohan can’t stop dreaming about his childhood sweetheart, Mridula. He says she’s her real trophy. Ugh!

7. ‘School Wala Love’ plays in the background. WTF?

8. Another lame joke by Rohan and his protégé.

9. And there’s that dialogue I was waiting for ‘Din tera tha saal mera hoga’. K, Tiger. Calm down.

10. Pishorilal Chamandas College? BRB. Gotta Google that.

11. This college’s motto is ‘Bolo sanche darbar vaali mata ki… jai!’ I can’t even…

12. Tiger is playing kabaddi and his coach just said, “Kabaddi chor kar Kathak join kar lo.” Achha fir?

12. Why does Tiger look perpetually constipated?

13. What the heck… Rosesh from Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai is in the movie! He is Tiger’s dad and an Indian astrologer who speaks broken English and dupes foreigners. Well, okay then.

14. Rohan follows Mridula to St. Teresa on a sports scholarship and meets Shreya (Ananya Panday), rich daddy’s classic bratty girl. Can the movie start now?

15. Kukad Kamaal Da? I’m so nostalgic. Major throwback to SOTY. Where are Varun and Sidharth?

16. Can Tiger Shroff please stop flying?

17. OMG! Drop the deodorant, Rohan. You’re not French. Just take a bath!

18. So Mridula is Mia now. Poo bani Parvati reversal? Also, she’s embarrassed by Rohan. Who demeans her own boyfriend like this? Okay, I don’t like her.

19. Ananya is trying too hard to be mean.

20. Ananya challenges Tiger to a dance-off and Tiger dances like a human rubber band.

21. Mia has apparently ‘evolved’ because she calls cold coffee ‘frappe’ now. *slow clapping*

22. Evolved or not, Mridula Chawla is a bitch!

23. Enter Manav. He’s Ananya Panday’s brother.

24. So Mia has the hots for rich boy Manav. Stop being so predictable!

25. Tiger Shroff is hitting on the coach. And the coach is Gul Panag. I love her dimples. That’s not how you flirt, Rohan! Nobody wants to see your ass.

26. The coach is a lesbian. That look on Tiger’s face. LOL!

27. Tiger Shroff is being shoe-shamed. Is that even a thing?

28. Why is Manav being so sweet? Isn’t he the antagonist? I smell danger. Run in the opposing direction, Tiger!

29. Mia likes Rohan again now because he’s popular. Opportunist!

30. This random song which means nothing is giving me a headache. Kudi Dilli Di, Jatt Ludhiyane Da…what?

31. Din kisi aur ka tha, lekin saal tera hoga. WE GOT THAT THE FIRST TIME, Rohan! Now go do something about it.

32. He’s a self-proclaimed ‘kabaddi ka king’. This movie is funny, in parts!

33. Rohan wants to go as Flying Jatt to a superhero-themed party. Okay, we’ve seen that one before!

34. Tiger Shroff in a Spiderman costume? My eyes! Oh God, my eyes!

35. This fight sequence between the Pishorilals and Teresians is completely unnecessary. The plot has gone for a toss.

36. Why is Sameer Soni so animated?

37. Shreya has an evil, abusive father. Now I feel bad for her. Waiting for her back story.

38. She is dancing like Elsa from Frozen. Rohan suddenly wants to do fraaandship with her.

39. Brother-sister vs ex-Pishoris. I can’t wait for this dance competition!

40. Farah Khan is the judge. Surprise surprise!

41. Warning: Gili Gili Akha is an earworm. I’m tapping my feet and can’t stop!

42. Will Smith is finally here. And he’s gone. What was that? 5 milliseconds? Come back, Will!

43. Mia broke Rohan’s heart. Why am I not surprised?

44. Rohan’s been expelled and exiled back to Pishorilal. He gets thrashed by Manav and his cronies. A wounded tiger is the most dangerous. Pun intended? Sorry, guys! FYI, Manav is in so much trouble!

45. Can’t handle Ananya Panday’s chirpiness.

46. Tara and Ananya’s mean girl exchange is ouch!

47. “Bees minute ke bawaal par, saalon ki dosti par sawal utha diya?” This has got to be my favourite line from the movie. What’s wrong with me?

48. Rohan and Shreya > Rohan and Mia. Period.

49. Ananya is dancing in a sports bra on the chhat and the aunties’ of Mussourie are scandalized.

50. Ananya Panday is the bahu Tiger’s parents didn’t know they wanted.

51. How many dance competitions are there in this movie? Rohan and Shreya win the trophy. Whom were they competing against?

52. Mia catches them hugging. She deserved this. Rohan, don’t ditch Shreya, please.

53. Do all rich kids go to London when they get dejected/disowned? Classic KJo!

54. Sameer Soni has been declaring the Dignity Trophy open for 50 minutes now.

55. This movie has unnecessary fights. Aditya Seal is a grade-B goon.

56. Manav has a beef with the Pishoris because they can’t remember his name. LOL. The other friend keeps on calling him Manasvi. I prefer Manasvi too!

57. Another pun incoming. Don’t poke the tiger. Oh, wait. That’s a bear. Joke fail.

58. Make up your mind, Rohan. This handholding is ridiculous.

59. I don’t understand this love story. Rohan is being tossed like a ping pong ball, much like Alia Bhatt in the first movie. Talking about Alia, where is she?

60. They threw a car in the water so they could pull it out later to build muscles? Get a gym membership, maybe? These washboard abs are blinding me. Put your shirts back on.

61. Jeet Khurana and Dimpy from SOTY are back! And they’re hosting the Dignity Cup. Nostalgia hit!

62. And the race starts! Déjà vu. The slow-mo running reminds me of Varun and Sidharth in SOTY.

63. Tiger has a trick or two up his sleeve. He might just win. Go Pishorilal. Okay, I need to get a life. But he’s wearing shorts again. Man!

64. It’s Pishorilal Vs Teresa in the finals. Spoiler! Not really LOL!

65. Rohan is courting both the girls. And now he’s eyeing the trophy. I guess Manav was right all along?

66. Now he’s breaking up with Mia. This millennial love story is a major fail.

67. Why isn’t the movie ending?

68. I miss Sudo.

69. It’s showdown, guys. I just hope it is. Kabaddi kabaddi kabaddi.

70. Rohan is the classic case of mard ko dard nahi hota.

71. So this movie does have a climax. Manav is a cheater. He is a cheater. CHEATER!

72. And the ‘Student of the Year’ trophy goes to… You would never be able to guess. Actually, you would.

73. Alia makes an appearance at the end? You can’t salvage the movie now, girl! What’s done is done.

My Rating: 1.5/5 

GIFs: Giphy

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