30 Thoughts I Had While Watching Andaz Apna Apna For The First Time

Newsflash: I’ve not watched Andaz Apna Apna before now.

Yes, let that sink in. Okay, you look very surprised. My team did, too. All at once, I felt the eyes in the entire room fixate on me. How could I have gone about 28 years of my life not having seen the epic that is Andaz Apna Apna? It was no less than a crime that was befitting of a punishment from Crime Master Gogo, I was told. Alright then, whoever that was. And that’s when I did it – I hit the hammer on my own leg. That’s your task – watch Andaz Apna Apna. You have to! Whenever someone says I have to do something I secretly panic a little. I’ll admit, I did have a little bit of a FOMO moment right then. Maybe I really was missing out on something extraordinary by not having watched the film that had enamoured generations! I decided that this one time, I ought to jump on the bandwagon – see what all the hype was really about. Maybe even get in on that inside humour fueled by this movie.  

So, I curled up on my couch, laptop on my lap, a cup of tea at the side. The books can wait for 2.5 hours, I thought to myself. And, just like that, I pressed play…

…2.5 hours later… no, 2 days later, I still don’t know what the hype is all about. Aside from a few thrills and quintessential Bollywood humour that always seems to be trying too hard, I still didn’t get it. Andaz Apna Apna is lost on me. It’s true.

And if you want to know what it was really like, watching the movie in 2018, my thoughts should sum it up!

1. …Am I watching Ishq before it released? Those checkered pants though!
2. So, that was a dream? SEVEN MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE WAS A FREAKING DREAM? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!
3. Why does Amar remind me of every entitled Delhi boy ever?

4. Please stop saying cum. So many innuendos. Can’t… stop… brain…!
5. Question: Do Indian boys have nothing else better to do in life than daydream and throw tantrums?
6. Amar talks too much. Headache coming back.
7. Bhalla! No, not Dahi Bhalla. Haha I’m going to tease my friend Bhalla now!
8. Is Amar going to fall in love with Prem?! Then it would be Amar Prem. Makes more sense right now.

9. Oh. Song. Skip.
10. Wait, did Amar just say, ‘Bedroom mein pohonchne ke baad dil mein pohonchne mein time hi kitna hai’? Problematic Bollywood logic!
11. Galti se mistake… Now, where have I heard this before? Did 21st century Bollywood get ALL their remake ideas from this one movie?
12. Karishma’s reaction to emergencies is me trying to get through life at the moment – ‘Oh accha’!
13. Karishma’s blinking is making me dizzy. I mean it.
14. Why is everyone trying so damn hard?!
15. Lol I’m never going to see oranges the same way again!
16. FINALLY! Crime Master Gogo! Heard so much. Pleased to meet!

17. Picchoo ka zeher. So many innuendos.
18. Wait, what? Plot twist? So Karisma is Raveena and Raveena is Karisma? Mind is so blown right now!
19. This is like every Indian Tinder date when they actually meet – no one is who they say they are!
20. Salman Khan’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke. Hey, I could make this my morning alarm song!
21. Okay, wait. So basically, boys be confused so they’ll call the girls whatever they want? WHAT?! 

22. I legit feel like I’m wasting precious time right now watching this. I could eat, do some work (wait, this is work), read a book, finish said book, have a productive conversation about life, go out, buy groceries and come back. Sleep.
23. This motorcycle incident is classic Charlie Chaplin!
24. Honestly, what is happening in this movie? I no longer have any clue!
25. Crime, sorry Circus Master Gogo’s ghagra is funny! Hahah
26. Why are Amar Prem fighting? Again?

27. Amar just pulled a Rajnikanth with the gun! Okay then.
28. Yep, Prem will be drunk before he touches the alcohol at a party. Positive.
29. Haha Raveena and Karisma! You go girls!
30. Okay. Wait. This is Hum Saath Saath Hain! Just is!

Now that it’s over, here’s what I’ve learned.

Never give in to a brief moment of FOMO, no matter what; and especially when it comes to Bollywood movies.

I still don’t get the humour. I got the innuendos, though.

I probably should have just watched it as a child, or in my school days when anything could crack me up.

Watching Andaz Apna Apna for the first time in 2018 is not the best idea.

 

Images & GIFs: YouTube/Giphy