Gaslighting is more common than what you may think. It’s worse when you’re in a relationship, and the one person you love the most is manipulating you into thinking there’s something inherently wrong with you instead of taking ownership of their actions. When your reaction to their action is treated like an offence itself. The more serious concern here is that in such scenarios the influenced ones do not even realise they have been influenced until one day all stars align, and perspectives come forth.
Women who’ve experienced gaslighting in a relationship share alarming signs that often convey there’s a serious problem in a relationship.
1. “You find yourself apologizing for your reaction to their bad behavior.”
2. “You feel like you are always the one a fault and that crazy is actually normal–you are just too stupid or crazy to understand.”
3. “When you say sorry and get confused about a genuine reaction you had that was not pleasing to your partner, even though they got you really angry first and should be apologizing to you.”
4. “You start to doubt yourself a lot more in things you know make sense.”
5. “In the past, usually I’ve known because I wrote down in my journal what the person said when they said it, so I knew immediately that they were wrong or lying when they later said ‘I didn’t say that!’ There’s also a feeling associated with it. I can’t explain it very well, but it’s a mix between deep rage, deep shame, and ‘Am I going crazy?”‘ When I start to regularly feel that feeling around someone, I know that I have to reconsider that relationship.”
6. “When the other person is attempting to hijack/change the narrative (as opposed to the subject) of our conversation. This is a super common tactic, even among those who are not narcissists.”
7. “Being told how to feel or act. Being shamed or judged for my own feelings. Feeling encouraged or forced to go against my own morals or feelings.”
– alawnnah
8. “When they argue with reality. ‘I never said that’ or ‘you imagined that.'”
What do you think about this?