Someone once wisely told me- never listen to anything, not even this. That’s my attitude for everything I read on the internet. I try everything for myself and only then believe that it works. Growing up I remember sitting with my girlfriends and flicking through the pages of magazines and reading the sex advice column with great interest.
However, when I actually had sex I realised that not all sex tips and tricks work. They’re pretty farfetched and aren’t worth the effort.
So, here are a few sex tips I’ve got (and I’m sure many of you have too) that don’t do anything for you in bed.
Gotta Bite, Nibble And Scratch HARD
In movies, no steamy scene is complete without one person biting, nibbling or scratching the other person… hard. However, in real life, it really hurts and can even kill the mood. If you want to follow that advice then you have to go in moderation and be careful around the erogenous zones because they can be hypersensitive. Try mixing it up with licking because that can do more for your partner than just biting and nibbling.
The Only Way To His Heart (And Groin) Is Through Sexy Lingerie
Never think that sexy lingerie can’t get you anywhere. But sometimes movies and magazines make us believe that that’s the only way to your partner’s heart. Well, that’s not true. The strappy, kinky lingerie we see in store windows are usually very uncomfortable. You don’t want to go out on your date being itchy and red everywhere. Wear something you’re comfortable in and own it. Confidence is the sexiest outfit out there.
Food Tastes Better When Licked Off From All Sorts Of Places
Trust me when I say this- putting Nutella on his groin and licking it off is a messy affair. Be it strawberries, chocolate or whipped cream have them prior to getting into bed because otherwise, it can get a bit sticky, quite literally. And if you’re the sort of person with an OCD about hygiene, then definitely ignore this piece of advice.
Dirty Talking Can Easily Get Someone In The Mood
Dirty talking is an art and only a few can master. It is actually very tough and if you aren’t a very talkative or open person then you may have difficulty in doing this. There are chances that you can make your partner snap out of it if not done right. So if you aren’t comfortable with this you could leave it to the experts. Maybe stick to ‘baby’ ‘right there’ ‘ooohhh, harder’ till you aren’t sure.
Car Sex Must Be On Your Bucket List
Okay, disclaimer, I’ve had car sex and now I know that I would never have it again. Firstly, it’s very difficult to stay hidden and you don’t want everything displayed for bystanders on the road (unless exhibitionism is something you’re into.) Even if you find a shady alley there is always a risk of someone turning up and peeping inside. Another thing is that there isn’t too much space in the car. Majority of your time will be spent trying to figure out a comfortable position for both of you.
I’m sure there’s more where this came from. What’s the worst piece of sex advice you’ve received or read about and decided to try?
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