A breakup or the events leading up to it almost always take a toll on our emotional well being and it takes quite some time to get back on our feet again. But, ladies, research suggests that there is a kind of breakup which actually hurts the most. And that’s when your partner chooses someone else over you.
Cornell University in the US has conducted a study which states that this “comparative rejection” hurts substantially more than someone simply choosing to not be with you. This feeling of being passed over can also happen in professional circumstances when an employment opportunity is handed to another candidate instead of you.
If you are going through a breakup, the book, The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce (Rs 753) will be of great help.
Having a third person in the equation also makes you doubt yourself much more than you usually would. Snapping chords with someone is hard as it is, but when a third person is involved the rejection feels even worse. Time magazine states that the researchers wrote, “This may be because such rejections lead to an increased sense of exclusion and decreased belonging.”
Truth be told, we have all been on both sides of the situation. But, next time you have to let someone down, do it gently. There is now proof to back the fact that telling him about your interest in someone else will do him more harm than good.
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