The much-awaited film Befikre, starring Vani Kapoor and Ranveer Singh, just released and we HAD to watch this one. We felt that Aditya Chopra’s Befikre was more Be-fukre! The movie is all about the things that you saw in the trailer – kissing, kissing and more kissing on the streets of Paris. If we had to sum up the movie for you we’d say it was Bollywood’s attempt at ruining Friends With Benefits! So here’s our reaction to Befikre…
1. Why am I watching this movie? I can watch the trailer again…FOR FREE!
Remember the trailer? Well, the movie is the trailer stretched into a 2 hours and 10 minutes saga. The whole movie was predictable! Matlab the idea you got about the story after watching the trailer…it’s EXACTLY that! Dharam (Ranveer Singh) and Shayra (Vaani Kapoor) live in Paris and run around on the pretty streets, daring each other to do stupid shit. They also have a pact that they won’t say ‘I love you jaisi stupid baatein’ to each other, and then they fight, and then they come together again. THE END. No seriously, this is the whole story!
2. Why SO desperate to get laid, Dharam?
We had serious issues with the character Dharam, who’s a standup comedian. He’s maha-creepy and just looking to get laid from the moment he lands in Paris. For him ‘that’s so gay’ and ‘wanna play with my ball’ are punch lines (Yep!). A moment of silence, please. You call yourself a comedian? Just shut up, please?!
3. Shayra slept with Dharam because of WHAT?
So this is what happens when Dharam meets Shayra for the first time at a party… He tries to hit on EVERY woman in the party and gets shooed away by all of them, and then he meets Shayra. She gets impressed by him because of the following joke: ‘I don’t like Indian men either, they smell of methi.’ So it just took Dharam one ghatiya joke and one song – ‘Nashe Si Chadh Gayi’ – to get Shayra to exchange saliva with him.
4. Which girl goes out with a guy who slaps a cop? What kind of a dare was that?
Like seriously WTF?! How does that even make sense? Shayra dares Dharam to go and slap a cop and only then would she go out on a date with him. What kind of a terrible dare was that? And she literally gets turned on after she watches him slap a cop, they actually had a full-on makeout session after that. That’s their idea of foreplay, guys… No kisses on the neck, no nibbling, NOTHING! Just go, slap a cop and ta-da!
5. More dares?
So after that they go on and continue the whole ‘foreplay’ of giving each other absolutely crap dares. They go around stealing lingerie, stripteasing in libraries, interrupting dances and matches, turning up in parties in just their underwear and so on. Mr. Aditya Chopra, you seriously think that was funny? No, that was totally crap! Who does that? Like okay, we get it, friends with benefits hain na? Toh why are they breaking into hotel rooms? Itna adrenaline rush kis baat ka?
6. Why is she so ungrateful to her parents?
So moving on, the two decided to live together. Now, thankfully, their ‘foreplay’ is just limited to their room. Shayra seemed to have this picture perfect life and she did whatever she wanted, but why was she so ungrateful to her parents? Like, telling them that you’re going to go live with your boyfriend after you’ve packed up? Not cool!
7. Friends with benefits to strangers to friends! Yeh ho kya raha hai?
After the two started living together, they started having many fights and they finally break up! Then they don’t talk to each other at all, and then they meet and decide that they can do ‘hi hello’ whenever they meet. And then they become friends again and start dating other people. This is so effin confusing! *Facepalm*
8. Ranveer, what have you been drinking? No seriously!
Through the whole movie, Dilli wala Dharam is over energetic! We seriously want to know the secret behind that energy, and you know what? Ranveer didn’t even had to act! So if you’re wondering what Ranveer was like in the movie…just imagine a guy who just had a hundred cans of Redbull! Yes, he was EXACTLY like that during the whole course of the movie.
9. Ahem… That ass, though!
If you’re wondering what ass, we’re talking about Dharam aka Ranveer’s butt. And no we didn’t see it through our x-ray vision, it was in the movie. After hearing many ‘oh my gods’, ‘ohs’, ‘woaaahs’ in the theatre, we realized that what we just saw was Ranveer Singh’s naked ass. Jai ho Censor Board walo ki!
10. Shayra’s parents prefer Dharam over the nice guy because he does ‘pairi pauna’?
So remember we told you that they start dating different people? Yeah so, Shayra’s friend sets her up with a rich-intelligent-good-looking-guy Anay (the only sensible character in the movie). He was fun, loving, rich, good looking and smart, and he also proposes marriage to Shayra. And she says yes! So her parents should be happy, right?! Their daughter is getting married to a nice guy and she’s not ending up with creepy Dharam, but NO. They’re sad that she isn’t marrying Dharam instead! And you want to know the reason they prefer Dharam over Anay? Because he does ‘pairi pauna’. No, seriously that’s the reason!
Oh and Shayra’s mom also suggests that she should ask herself whether the guy she’s marrying has ‘vo aloo ke paranthe wali baat ya nahin?’ Like, what should have been her reply? ‘Nahi maa, he doesn’t smell of desi ghee?’ WHAT?
11. Just when it started making sense, you had to do the raita faila-ing! Why oh WHY?
Finally when we thought that the movie was making a *little* sense, with Dharam and Shayra marrying different people, and just when we were about to cry those happy tears, Adi sensed them and made us cringe again! Dharam and Shayra both realize that they still have feelings for each other… Par kyun bhai? Can’t we have sensible endings?
12. Thank god for the songs…otherwise I would have killed myself!
Well, the music isn’t THAT fabulous but we’re glad that it’s there. The only thing we were looking forward to in the movie was…the next song! Why? Because of Ranveer and Vaani’s aa-mazing dance performances.
13. I knew it. I KNEW IT! Dharam gets the chick because urmm…Bollywood!
And predictably this is how the movie ends – Dharam interrupts Shayra’s wedding, breaking off his own at the same time, and ta-da! Hero ko uski heroine mil gayi (Bollywood ishtyle)!!
Now we’re not saying that the movie is absurd, but if you just want to spend some bucks…you should instead go for a manicure because THAT won’t give you a headache! #JustSaying
GIFs: Tumblr