Our country, unfortunately, has a rather weird way of thinking about the problem of safety of women. At least some of our “leaders” certainly do. No, they don’t believe that rape of women is caused by men forcing themselves upon unwilling women and violating them sexually. They believe that other factors are at play. Such as…women and men mixing freely, women using mobile phones, junk food. (???!!!) And some people believe that there is no such thing as rape in India – like UP Minister Totaram Yadav, who reportedly said: “What is rape? There is nothing as such. Rapes happen with mutual consent of boys and girls.”
If you’re going WTF in your head right now, know that you’re not alone. Check out Ufaan’s “Rape-O-Meter” – and how our leaders suggest we protect ourselves against sexual violence. (Thankfully it’s just a few of them saying such sh*t, and not all – else the only way to actually be safe would be for women to just leave the country!)
1. By not talking (to anyone, preferably)
Text: “Rape cases are on the rise in the country because men and women interact with each other more freely now.” – Mamata Banerjee, Chief Minister, West Bengal
Oh dear, I suppose I should cross the road every time I see a man.
2. By making sure that astrology works in our favour
Text: “We have no answer to this rising spate of crimes against women. Stars are not in position.” – Nanki Ram Kanwar, Former Home Minister, Chhatisgarh
OMG, I need to find myself an astrologer right NOW.
3. By following Hindu culture
Text: “When girls used to follow Hindu culture, there were no instances of rape. Now, people have changed the way they behave and dress and you have seen how the number of rapes are on the rise.” – Deepak Dhavalikar, Goa Factories Minister
Too bad if I follow a different religion, I suppose.
4. By wearing (very) long dresses
Text: “One of the reasons behind the increase in incidents of eve-teasing is short dresses and short skirts worn by women. This in turn instigates young men.” – Chiranjeet Chakraborty, Trinamool Congress Legislator
Hello, Mr Tailor, can you please stitch some extra cloth onto all my clothes now?
5. By moving to a village
Text: “Rape is prevalent in urban ‘India’ due to western influence and such crimes against women do not happen in rural ‘Bharat’.” – Mohan Bhagwat, RSS Chief
Must now search for ek bigha zameen to buy in rural “Bharat”.
6. By calling our would-be rapists “bhaiya”
Text: “The victim is as guilty as her rapists. She should have called the culprits ‘Brothers’ and begged before them to stop.” – Asaram Bapu, Self-Styled “Godman”
Rakhi sales should go up tremendously this year.
7. By participating in child-marriage
Text: “Girls should be married at the age of 16, so that they have their husbands for their sexual needs, and they don’t need to go elsewhere. This way rapes will not occur.” – Om Prakash Chautala, Former Chief Minister, Haryana
Damn, I’m waaay past 16! No saving me, I guess.
8. By not using mobile phones
Text: “There is no need to give mobile phones to women and children. It distracts them and is useless. Why do women need phones? My mother, wife and sister never had mobile phones.” – Rajpal Saini, BSP Leader
Byebye, Nokia.
9. By staying at home
Text: “What is the need for roaming at night with men who are not relatives? This should be stopped.” – Abu Azmi, Samajwadi Party Leader
But what if I am out with someone who is a relative?!
10. By not eating Chinese food
Text: “To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents (rape). Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.” – Jitender Chhatar, Khap Panchayat Leader
I ate noodles last night. Oops.
Images: Ufaan on Facebook
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