In today’s complicated world of swiping, dating, hooking up, texting non-stop yet having nothing concrete- romance and love is muddled in the minds of so many. And hence, breakups can look different from each other but each is just as painful. Your heart breaks and shatters into a million pieces and the ache inside your heart feels so real.
We know how hard breakups can be so the POPxo team sat and thought of what you shouldn’t do after you breakup.
From hating on yourself and having low self-worth to not comparing yourself to the new person he/she is dating, this is what team POPxo believes one should not do after a heartbreak.
Process Your Feelings And Don’t Let Them Bottle Up
Don’t be hard on yourself. Scientists believe that heartbreak is equal to grieving the death of a person–except, in this case, it is the death of a relationship. Stop giving yourself a hard time just because you can’t get up and move on the very next day. Healing is a process…it takes time. Let yourself cry. Listen to sad music. Eat that tub of ice cream. It’s also okay if you look at your old pictures together. Do whatever you need to do to process those feelings because you can’t get over a relationship if you have unresolved, bottled up feelings.
– Tanya Sharma, Junior Editor
Don’t Alienate Yourself
Do not alienate yourself. It is a tricky time when you suddenly feel that the person who cared for you the most is no longer a part of your life but then do not let that emotion distance you from your friends who genuinely want to help you overcome the difficult time.
– Naina Sharma, Senior Writer
Do Not Question Your Self-Worth
Breakups are hard, whether you’ve had your heart broken or you’ve parted ways mutually… getting over someone who has been part of your life is challenging, to say the least. The worst thing some of us tend to do after a breakup (myself included) is to blame yourself and question your self-worth. It’s normal to feel a little insecure after a breakup but allowing those feelings to consume you will send you down a downward spiral. Speaking from experience, this damage that you do to your self-esteem never ends well. It can take you months and even years to feel good about yourself again. Be confident, believe in yourself, surround yourself with people who care about you and this too shall pass!
– Nidhi Kavle, Assistant Editor
Don’t Think You’ll End Up Alone
If, in case, your partner has a special one before you are able to move on, do NOT compare yourself to the new person he/she is dating. Just because the person looks happier now doesn’t mean that you were bad. It just means that they’ve found someone who they are more compatible with, which you will also find eventually.
– Neha Kapoor, Senior Writer
You Can Rewrite Your Memories Together
Breakups are shattering. The toughest part is when your mind decides to take a walk down memory lane. And even if you’re not actively thinking about them, sometimes just merely walking by a familiar destination causes flashbacks. My takeaway is that you cannot stop going back. You can’t not take that metro, can’t not walk by that lane and there’s so much more to it that you can’t stop doing just because of the nostalgia that hits you. Start going out alone, replace all the memories with yourself, your friends and family ‘cause as they say, the show must go on!
– Kadambini Arora, Social Media Coordinator
Don’t Bad Mouth Your Partner
Now, this is coming from experience. After your breakup, never bad mouth your partner to your friends, on social media and others in general. No good will come out of it, believe me! The need to come out of the relationship as the victim or playing the blame game is something a lot of people do but is never a good idea. Besides, victimising yourself is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. Your self-respect and mental health deserve better than that.
– Sayunkta Jain, Junior Editor
Stop Living In The Past
Thinking about what either of you could’ve done differently is only going to open the wounds. Let it be. Joh hogya, woh hogaya! Reminiscing about your past is something we are guilty about but honestly, it never helps. If needed, get some closure from your ex-partner but never regret anything. Everything happens for a reason and the reason it didn’t work out is that someone as awesome as you awaits you. But there is one thing you should definitely do, the big D.E.L.E.T.E! Get rid of everything that reminds you of them. Delete him physically, mentally and socially, put on that red lipstick on and be a bad b***h!
– Aayushi Pareek, Writer
Give Yourself Space
No matter how tempted you may feel to pick up the phone and call him, don’t do it. It’s tough, but you have to cut off ALL contact in order to heal. The more space that’s given, the faster the two of you will be able to move on. Especially if the breakup was a mutual one.
– Sharon Alphonso, Senior Writer
Don’t Feel Like The Pain Will Never Go Away
I firmly believe that feeling your feelings is the best thing you can do for yourself. Breakups and hard and heartbreaks are even harder, the feeling when you want to cry till you don’t have tears left anymore and when you’d do anything to receive one text from him/her. But one thing you shouldn’t do after your breakup is don’t feel like this feeling will never end- it will. The romantic feelings will eventually die out, the world will seem happier and you will get through it. Never stop having faith in yourself.
– Anandita Malhotra, Senior Writer
Guys, heartbreaks and breakups may seem like the end of the world when you’re going through them but they are not. Life goes on and before you know it, you would have moved on too! ❤