Dating in India is an extreme sport. We’re always scared to hang out with our boyfriends. Getting comfortable with them or any PDA is out of the question because you don’t know who’ll spot you where. You may not even care about them spotting you but the distorted versions of the truth that may be spread are enough to have anybody up at night. It’s especially bad when a desi aunty spots you – for them gossiping is a national sport and you better believe they are champions at it. So here are some fun excuses to give when those nosy desi aunties spot you being a little mushy (or even just taking a walk in the mall) with your boyfriend.
1. “Aunty, he’s my cousin and I’m showing him around the city. Oh, whose son? Sorry, you don’t know that maasi.”
Now she can’t possibly know everyone in your family, can she?
2. “He’s a colleague and we’re here for a work event.”
She won’t ask for any more explanations after this!
3. “Aunty meet XYZ. He’s an old classmate, I ran into him today after five years. God, the coincidence!”
A safe excuse. If you run into him randomly, there is nothing she (or your parents) can do!
4. “I’m here to meet a bunch of my friends. We’re just heading to the restaurant together.”
She may believe you, she may not believe you. It’s a risk!
5. “He dropped something and I was only returning it to him.”
That’ll justify having a conversation with him!
6. “Aunty, you know how unsafe Delhi is. He’s my bodyguard and he accompanies me everywhere I go.”
Tell her to hire one for herself too!
7. “He’s my stalker, I’m taking him to the police station.”
She may insist on accompanying you to the police, though!
8. “Who, he? I don’t know him. He’s just a random boy who happened to walk with me.”
Deny any association at all. Nothing she can do about it!
9. “I asked him for directions and the kind soul that he is, he took my hand to guide me to the destination.”
Lame, but may work. Again, it’s a risk!
While these excuses may seem funny, you need to know that, at the end of the day, you don’t need to justify yourself to anybody, least of all these aunties who love interfering in everyone’s lives. It is your life and you’re free to do as you please!
GIFs: Giphy, Tumblr
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