It was my first serious relationship and we had been together for almost a year. It was like a fairytale come true for me. We met as strangers in Goa, came back to Mumbai, a week of phone calls and text messages later, he confessed that he liked me. I’m a very closed person when it comes to dating and relationships. I always tend to escape out of one when given a chance, but this guy just swept me off my feet and made me fall head over heels in love with him. Eventually, our families also came to know about us. I met his mother, our friends and relatives started talking about us getting married and we both also saw that as the next step in our relationship.
Our relationship was going perfectly well, until small fights started happening way too frequently between the two of us. That lead to bigger fights at times, and eventually, we both realized that we probably weren’t compatible enough and mutually decided to call it off.
We would still talk to each other post the breakup. I was really sad about everything not going according to our plan and how I had really wanted it to be. I was finding it extremely difficult to get over him. In a bout of anger and frustration, I promised myself never to fall for in love again.
After days of sulking, I finally decided to head out partying with some friends hoping that this would be a good way to pep up my mood for some time, and it seemed to work for me! I danced and drank and forgot about all my sorrows for those moments. This is when I met a guy – he was my friend’s friend. I didn’t like him much but we ended up talking and later, we kissed. After the night out was over, we went to his place. It suddenly occurred to me that getting laid with this guy might help me get over my breakup.
Things started to get steamy between us and before we knew it, we were partially naked. As things proceeded, I just couldn’t get myself to do it. I couldn’t feel a thing. It was nothing like it used to be with my ex. He was not bad in bed and knew exactly what to do and how to do it. And despite all his efforts, I was dry as a desert. I was just not turned on by anything that this guy tried to do. I finally told him that I didn’t want to go ahead with this and he was quite cooperative and understanding about it.
We spent the night talking and getting to know each other instead and he seemed to be relieved to know the reason why we both didn’t go all the way that night. I had never done anything like this before. I did not believe in one-night stands and casual sex, and so, taking such an impulsive step made me really mad at myself. I realized that I’ll eventually get over my ex and being impulsive is not always a good way to deal with heartbreaks.
I now believe that I might find someone ideal some day, or maybe not, but I’m definitely not giving up on my happiness. I decided to deal with things as they come, without being too impulsive or morose about my life.
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