My Worst Decision Was to Have Sex With My Best Friend

Arjun had been my best friend since class 10, which meant that we had been friends for 9 years. We were quite close to each other and loved each other, but only as friends and nothing more. He knew everything about me; and by everything, I mean everything… My breakups, my secrets, my boyfriends. Without me speaking even a word he used to understand what was going on in my mind. He used to playfully tease me by saying that he was my best friend who knew me better than my boyfriend. 
Many people used to think that there was something going on between the two of us but I never thought about him that way. My boyfriend and other friends used to tell me that Arjun liked me but I never paid any attention to them because for me, the most important thing was that Arjun was with me and I was the most important person in his life. I felt lucky to have a wonderful best friend and the best boyfriend with whom I had been for the past 5 years. 
When Arjun left for London to study I promised him that I too would join him soon, as I had also been planning to go to the same place for my studies. In the next one and a half year, he came to India twice and always made sure he took out time for me. Finally, my travel plans actually materialized. As I was getting ready to fly to London, my boyfriend started feeling insecure as I was going to stay with my best friend in the same house and the same room. But he trusted me and so, he let me go without too much fuss. 
I was excited because I was going to stay with my best friend and we were going to have a LOT of fun. Living with one’s best friend is something that excites everyone and I was really going to do that. I reached London and he came to pick me up at the airport.  A week later, we went to party at a friend’s place. She too was from India. We downed some drinks and were sort of tipsy. In the morning, around 5 am, we went to sleep. We were both sleeping in one room and two of my friends were sleeping in another room. We were lying on the bed… very close to each other. At that moment, Arjun and I kissed for the first time and things escalated quickly from there. I ended up having sex with by best friend and both of us enjoyed it immensely. 
After coming back home he started behaving very weirdly. He started ignoring me and wouldn’t talk to me. A couple of days later, when his behaviour did not change, I confronted him. But he dodged the conversation by saying that he wasn’t a very talkative person and since we are staying together there wasn’t much to talk about. 
Since that day we have been living almost like strangers. Sex with my best friend wasn’t the best thing to do. I miss my best friend and I want him back. I regret deciding to live in the same house and I regret that I slept with my best friend. I lost my best friend… The most constant relationship that I had in my life and now I don’t think we will ever be the same again. I don’t want a friend with benefits, just a best friend.

* Names changed to protect privacy Images: Shutterstock

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