An Open Letter From EVERY Guy To… His Girlfriend’s Boobs!

Dear Girlfriend’s Boobs,

I feel like I need to start this letter with a disclaimer and not a poem – trust me, it was a difficult choice, considering the subject. I wouldn’t ever really say any of these things I’m going to write to you (or the lovely woman you belong to) in person, since it might seem like I’m objectifying you. That isn’t my intention though, and I hope you’ll agree with me on that once you’re done reading this.

The first time I saw you – it was like I was seeing for the very first time and I didn’t want to look away. The same day I started believing in love at first sight. There I was and there you both were…and if that wasn’t love, then I don’t know what is. I can’t say I love either one of you more than the other – even though I’ve catalogued all the differences between you both. You’re both unique and absolutely beautiful.

The first time I touched you, my world changed. I had been in love with you until now – but now? Now, I was obsessed. And maybe a bit addicted. You’re so, so soft and I just want want to be able to feel you every day, you know? Give you a soothing massage, rest my head between you both. I don’t ever want you to feel lonely or wonder if I’m not in the picture anymore. I like having you both close to me, in my vicinity. Even if we aren’t really touching, it’s nice to able to appreciate you from afar. Sometimes I feel there should be a famous portrait of you… Then, I realize, no. I would rather keep you for my eyes only, if you don’t mind.

The thing is, I could never get bored of you. I find a new reason to love you every damn day! The way you both bounce when she runs, the way you hug each other and smile at me (yes, I mean your cleavage), the way you play peek-a-boo with me sometimes, the way you blow my mind when you look me in the eye, the way you make me wish I was the bra that hugs you all day… It’s all so intense and I can’t wait for all the other surprises you have in store for me.

And, oh, the sex. You can imagine, right, that if I feel this way about you generally, how insane you make me go during sex? My eyes, they are stuck to you, mesmerized by your every move. When I can’t see you, my hands are all over you. It’s torture when I can’t do either of those things… And absolute madness when I can do BOTH! And it’s a whole new level to be kissing you… Have I told you how much I love the fact that you’re always up for new things and just as experimental as I am? Your lovely owner takes convincing, I know, but together, we do a pretty quick job of that. We’re an awesome team, after all.

Let me come to the most important part of all, though… THANK YOU! For everything. For being there for me when I needed you both the most and for just existing. You make all my worries go away and my world would be incomplete if I hadn’t met you. You’re…AMAZING.

Counting down the minutes – no seconds – until I see you again,

Your biggest fan.

Images: Giphy, Shutterstock