#MyStory: I Struggled With Postpartum Depression & Here’s Why We Need To Talk About It

Postpartum depression is a common condition that several women suffer from after giving birth to a child and I went through it too. Yes, I was depressed after my child was born but that doesn’t make me a bad mother. Baby blues or postpartum depression is real and it’s high time we talk about it.

My son is two-and-a-half years old now, and I’m having the time of my life. But it was not the case when he was born. As happy as I was when I delivered him (via C-section) and took him home, I had this weird feeling, which tried to overshadow my happiness, and that was postpartum depression.

Having a baby is one of the happiest moments of anyone’s life, it changes everything and for the good. But have you ever wondered that it can also be one of the saddest? Well, the first few days or months after giving birth were an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I found myself weeping, angry and sad amidst all the happiness and contentment I felt after my delivery. My pregnancy was a smooth one and I was crazed over the maternity photos and picking cute little outfits for my baby. I couldn’t wait to hold him. Had I known what would happen after, I would have been more aware of my mental state. The problem is that no one warns expecting mothers about PPD. No one tells us what we actually should prepare ourselves for. 

I didn’t see it coming and was rocked to the core. Was it a sense of isolation or the confusion that led me to postpartum? What was it that I was overlooking? What made me so restless that I had to search for happiness even after giving birth to the most beautiful human being in this world? I felt like a piece of shit and good for nothing. This thing affected my physical and mental health as well as my relationship with my partner because I was always angry or sad. 

I was so afraid and confused to talk about this to anyone as I thought that I would be medicated for the same and I did not want to give my child impure milk. I wanted to eat right and give him all the nutrients he should get through my breast milk. People asked me not to worry as ‘things get back into the swing’ after a while. But do you know that if you overlook this, things can never get back into the swing? 

It was finally after a couple of months that I started regaining my lost confidence after speaking to my husband. I realized that after you have a fresh from the womb baby, you need a little pampering yourself. So, a shout out to all the expecting mothers. DON’T HIDE YOUR FEELINGS FROM YOUR LOVED ONES. Postpartum depression is not just about hormonal mood swings, it can really affect how you feel. 

Dear Postpartum, I am warning others about you because no mother should feel that her child is better off without her. No mother should feel that she is good for nothing. No mother should be confused or scared to talk about you with her partner. And no mother should stay awake at night, thinking about how bad it is going to get the next day. This is coming from a mother who found the courage within to talk about it and trust me that is just the first step.