We all have our fair share of raunchy, interesting sex stories to share, don’t we? There are stories about the first time, the ones involving BDSM, stories of sex with a stranger and even with an ex-boyfriend. There are fun stories, some really sexy ones and even awkward sex experiences that no one likes to talk about!
9 Sex Stories That Are Funny, Weird And Maybe Gross…All At The Same Time!
These sex stories that people shared on Reddit and Quora will leave you in splits… Or not!
This Dude Whose Life Will Never Be The Same
“I once was engaging my parter in oral sex (with the lights out) when all of a sudden, there was this strong metallic-like taste in my mouth… After a few moments, we turned on the lights, only to discover that she started her cycle!”
This Guy Who Got Caught For No Fault Of His
“I had a pretty normal one night stand, the guy was nice and the sex was decent. Then at around seven in the morning, the police show up at his apartment and take him away in handcuffs. He tells me to call the number on a card and tell his lawyer, ‘John has been arrested meet him at the station.’ I stay and talk to the police, and every question they ask I answer with, ‘I literally just met him last night.’ It turns out it was for some fraud related to his job. I thought I may have dodged a serial killer or something.”
The One Who Ended Up With A Married Man!
“We met at a bar and didn’t talk much before he suggested we go back to my place. We did the deed, and afterwards, while we were cleaning up and getting dressed, I said to him ‘That was amazing, we should do this again?’. He replied, ‘absolutely, let me give you my email address. I don’t text because my wife checks my phone.”
The One Where Sex Was Followed By Robbery
“A lot of money was missing from my wallet, her phone number was fake, I had no idea what her last name was or where she lived, and when I spoke to the police I had a very unsympathetic police officer who made it clear she didn’t approve of my bringing home a girl I just met at the bus station. Not my proudest moment.”
Drunken Sex Is NEVER A Good Idea
“We started to date for a few months. He went away for a few weeks and was super excited to see me again. I was waiting for him in a bar with friends. Too bad, his flight was delayed so I just stayed with my friends. More friends joined in, unfortunately…Needless to say, I got carried away by the time he arrived to pick me up, I was totally wasted. We got in bed, I threw up on him and all over the bed. The night ended up me sleeping like a rock, snoring heavily after he helped me cleaning myself and changing the sheets without my help.”
This Girl Whose First Orgasm Was Via A Bicycle!
“I was 15. I bicycled my sweetheart home after school. She sat safely on the back, holding my hips as we all did. She took a half-minute to get off my bike. I asked what’s the matter. She said she’s okay but, gasping, “I think I just had an orgasm!” She’d just experienced her first ever orgasm, as far as she could tell. On the book rack of my bike!”
We Bet Her Mouth Wasn’t Ready For THAT!
“So I was giving this guy a blowjob while we were hanging out and as when he was cumming I noticed something was off. First I thought ‘huh, his cum tastes like chicken noodle soup.’ Then I thought; ‘hmm, he’s cumming a lot.’ Then finally, with horror, it dawned on me.
It wasn’t cum, it was piss.”
We Hope That The Kid Doesn’t Remember ANY Of It
“Years later, my husband and I are having sex under the covers, and our then 3-year-old daughter opens the door without knocking, waddles in, says, ‘Ooh! Wrestling! Yay!’ and climbs onto her father’s back and begins to bounce up and down on top of him (as he is on top of and inside me). He and I just look at each other fearfully, waiting for her to get bored, climb down, and leave the room. Once she did? We couldn’t finish after that.”
What’s Your Relationship Status?
“At the party, she took me inside her house (everyone else was outside) and to her parents’ bedroom downstairs. We had sex and were just laying in bed talking and about to start round 2 when we heard someone come in the back door and start yelling for her in an angry voice. She sat up in bed and gasped, ‘Oh God, it’s my fiancé!’. I didn’t know she was even dating anyone! She had thought he was out with friends and not coming to the party.”
We bet you wouldn’t mind going through a bit of a dry spell after reading these stories, would you?!
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