I’m not a fan of longer extensions. They physically and mentally repulse me. I prefer short, trimmed nails instead. They’re neat and polished, and they don’t play into my fear of poking the eyes and blinding myself for eternity.
So High School Musical‘s lead, Vanessa Hudgens, just announced her engagement. And all I could notice was her longest faux nails ever. And it’s safe to say that I’m not excited about them. At all.
But you need to know why I am the way I am. So read on.
Skincare, Who? I Don’t Know Her
I do a six-step skincare routine twice a day every day. If I attempted doing it with these nails, you’d think my cats had a vendetta against me. I, a raging cat-lover, will not play into those existing misconceptions against felines. But talking about cats…
It’s *Not* Feline Friendly
I’m a little too obsessed with my cats. And these nails mean not booping their tiny, little faces. So it’s not worth it. I mean, yeah, I did rescue these kids. I’m a mother now. I’ve got to sacrifice some things in life for their safety and well-being.
Nails & Phones? It’s The Worse Kinda ASMR
Call me overly sensitive. But I hate the clickity-clackity sounds nails make when you type something on your phone. Even when I’m watching ASMR, I never watch nail-tapping videos. It’s the equivalent of dragging your nails against a chalkboard. Now you understand.
And, I Mean, I Am A Writer
Another con for long nails. I type for a living, gals. Imagine having to type thousands of words every day with these nails. It’s a no from me. A girl’s gotta look out for herself. And the endless typos? Let’s keep that story for another time.
I Cannot Wing It Anymore
I suck at winging my eyeliner. This just makes it worse. From decent, I am demoted to amateur. And if something is holding me back in life, it’s not worth it. Simple, no?
It Makes Me Incompetent
I have spent a long, long time trying to get something as simple as a coin or card off a table. The struggle is even more embarrassing when people notice. I remember playing cards with my friends recently. It’s safe to say I lost only because I spent more time struggling with the cards than playing them.
I mean, hey, congratulations to Vanessa Hudgens. But I know I’m not celebrating my engagement with those nails.
Featured Image: Instagram