Aah, love! It’s the most powerful emotion in the world but also the scariest. Love, whether romantic or otherwise, leaves you feeling so strong, fulfilled and happy but vulnerable at the same time. But what happens when we’ve loved and lost? We put up so many walls around our heart that our emotions become unapproachable. We feel that our past has led us to so many intimacy issues that we can never open up to another person again.
And what if, between all this uncertainty and heartbreak and self-doubt, someone just sweeps us off our feet? Because that’s the thing about love. It catches you by surprise and you never really know when it’s going to come. So then how do we approach this love? Do we sabotage our own happiness and protect our hearts from possible future pain or do we let go and see what happens? After having loved in the past to experience only pain and suffering, the logical thing would be to protect ourselves. But that’s not how life works. You need to give this love a chance. After all, even at your lowest, love is what keeps you going. So here’s what to do when love is knocking on your door but you’re afraid to open up!
1. A Little Self Analysis Goes A Long Way
This is something you should do even before love arrives. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. So, it’s always best to figure out if we have any destructive habits or any patterns that are leading to the breakdown of our relationships. This does not mean blaming yourself for whatever happened but instead, taking responsibility for your role. This will prepare you better for your future relationships.
2. Your Thoughts Are Just Thoughts
We get so caught up in our own thoughts that we don’t realise that they are just fragments of our imagination and, in all possibility, not reality. Instead of taking every thought seriously and believing everything your mind tells you, let’s try and let see our thoughts objectively. If you are skeptical and thinking “he’s being so sweet, I’m sure he has an ulterior motive” you can wait for him to prove it instead of believing your thoughts right away just because you are scared.
3. Feel Instead Of Rationalising
You’ll already know from experience that trying to suppress an emotion only makes you feel it more deeply. So if you’re trying to avoid thinking about him, that’s not going to work. Feel whatever you’re feeling, whether joy or sorrow, instead of running away from it or putting it into a box at the back of your mind.
4. Challenges Are A Part Of Life
It’s easy to be stuck in a rut or a routine of avoidance but very difficult to break away from it and make something out of yourself. While emotional unavailability can be a comforting blanket to hide behind, you’ll only truly be happy when you let your defenses down and have another person explore the beauty of your existence. After all, challenges make life more interesting.
5. Being Vulnerable Isn’t A Sin
We take a certain pride in saying things like “I’m a strong person” but the real strength lies in being emotionally open and vulnerable. Yes, you may be opening yourself to pain and disappointment but you are also opening yourself to love and happiness. Isn’t that what you want?
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