Being in a relationship is not always rainbows and sunshine. All couples have their share of relationship problems. Here are the 10 most common ones, and how to solve them. Don’t worry, girl, we’ve got your back!
1. The space and the ‘me’ time.
Problem: Not giving each other enough space or ‘me’ time.
Solution: It is important to go to that party without him and also not make a fuss about him going for that night-out without you. It is important and extremely healthy that you give each other some space and some ‘me’ time without making a big deal about it. You will notice that half of your bickering tournaments come to an end once you start doing this.
2. The forbidden exes
Problem: Talking too much about the exes or refusing to talk at all.
Solution: If either of you has concerns about each other’s past, sit and talk about it. Don’t deny your partner the answers they deserve, it will only make them feel insecure. Also, do not drift off to the other end of the spectrum and keep dragging the exes in your conversations…especially when you are fighting. Don’t dig up skeletons that were buried long ago. They will do nothing but haunt the both of you and disrupt your relationship.
3. The difference of expression
Problem: One of you may be more expressive than the other, which may make the first person feel like the other isn’t as involved or as much in love.
Solution: Not everyone showcases their emotions in the same way. So, if he does not say ‘I love you’ as often as you do, that does not mean he doesn’t love you. While you may be sending him romantic messages every now and then, he may only do so a few times. Don’t get worked up about it. Understand your partner’s nature and personality and continue to be yourself, no matter what.
4. Money in and money out
Problem: One of you is earning less and the other is earning more, but the expenditure is not proportional.
Solution: The ‘Jo tera hai woh mera hai, jo mera hai woh tera’ philosophy doesn’t always work in real life and that’s okay. So, a good idea is to have a common pool of expenses. Both of you can put in a certain percentage of your paycheck into that pool, and then you guys can spend it on things you both want to do together.
5. It’s all about trust
Problem: You do not trust each other completely.
Solution: There is a difference between being cautious and being suspicious. It’s okay to ask him his whereabouts and all but, when he goes for dinner with his friends, all you can think of is him in bed with a female friend of his? Then, something is wrong. You need to figure it out and put your doubts to rest. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and you both should be able to trust each other beyond a reasonable level of caution.
6. The big green monster called jealousy
Problem: You have pangs of jealousy for various reasons… Maybe because he has a better job or more friends or you feel he is doing better in life than you are.
Solution: You are only human and are bound to feel like this at times. As long as it does not become an everyday thing, you don’t have to worry about it. Remember that you guys are a team and instead, take inspiration from each other and strive to be better at what you do. However, if the green monster is making too many appearances then you should talk to your partner or a friend you trust. Something may be troubling you deep inside which you are not able to put a finger on.
7. No spark, no fire.
Problem: You feel that there is no more excitement left in your relationship.
Solution: Once the honeymoon phase is over, the stability phase begins, which may not necessarily be exciting. Try to do stuff together… Try out new cuisines, go for a getaway, get each other surprise presents. All these things will help bring some more colour to your relationship. And girl, stability is a good thing. It may not be as exciting but if you have that it is great!
8. Sex drive in a nose dive
Problem: You are not having as much sex as you used to.
Solution: The best solution to this problem is to talk about it. Why are you feeling this way? Is it because the sex is not good? Or exciting enough? If you are not having enough sex, according to you, is it because you do not have time for each other or simply because one or both of you don’t feel like it most of the time? Talk it out and you will find that it wasn’t as big a deal as you were thinking it was.
9. It’s about time, love
Problem: Not giving each other enough time.
Solution: It is extremely important to spend time with each other, and it’s not the number of hours, it is the quality of time that you spend together that matter the most. No matter how busy you are, set aside some time for your partner and while you’re with him, keep your phone and other gadgets aside. Focus on him. Both of you need to understand that while you do not need to spend every single second together and that you have other things to do and other people to hang out with, giving your partner time is very important.
10. The ‘Have we fallen out of love?’ question.
Problem: At times it feels like there is no zing left in the relationship and that you are drifting apart.
Solution: Don’t worry until you have to. If you feel you are drifting apart, make a conscious effort to talk to him and engage with him. Spend time together and see if you still feel the same way. It may just be a lack of time and attention. It may also be the complete opposite. Being with each other all the time for too long makes you get used to the other person, which may feel like not being in love anymore. Try to give each other some space and you will begin to get a clear picture of your problem.
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