He broke up with you. C’est la vie. From hysterical crying to binge eating and desperately texting him to trashing away his stuff, all of us do insanely weird stuff when emotions take over the best of us. Remember what Geet of Jab We Met did to her ex when he ditched her? She called him and abused him on the phone before dumping his photographs in the toilet.
Well, not a good idea in real life. I would rather suggest taking some inspiration from Rani (Kangana Ranaut) of Queen, go on a solo trip, shed your inhibitions and come back a stronger woman. Sounds like the perfect revenge to that jerk of a person and the sweetest gift to give to oneself.
Ladies, here’s everything that you should NOT do after it’s over if you want to move on in life really fast and not come out as someone looking for attention and make bad decisions that you will definitely regret.
Don’t Hook Up With Any Random Guy
Don’t go sleeping around with random guys you hardly know like that stupid misogynist you met on Tinder or your pervert colleague of yours. Just because you are broken doesn’t mean you are easy. And if you think this is helping you heal (which it obviously isn’t), then DO NOT regret doing it later.
Give Your Detective Skills Some Rest
If you are stalking him (and we don’t mean standing outside his house with binoculars), STOP! Right away. Don’t behave like the creep you have loathed your entire life. Scrolling through his Instagram sometimes is okay (we know it will take time), but don’t spend hours going through the profiles of girls whose photos he has liked recently.
Don’t Drink Like There’s No Tomorrow
You don’t have to gulp down shots after shots (unless it’s a Friday and your favourite bar is offering a one on one deal). Getting drunk and then throwing up and passing out is something that will only make you feel worse in the morning. Of course, getting a couple of drinks is fine and totally normal to help loosen you up, but downing 2 bottles of wine and doing vodka shots is definitely not a good idea.
Don’t Play Foul
Okay, so he told you about the time when he stole money from his parents or how he lied to them about a friend’s wedding when he was actually chilling with you in Goa. But now that it’s over, don’t be a crazy bitch and blurt out everything to his parents. Because, sweet revenge..you know. Don’t forget he has also seen all the skeletons in your cupboard.
Stop Indulging In Guilty Pleasures
That brick of butterscotch ice-cream in your refrigerator can definitely do wonders to your broken heart but not to your health. It’s okay to eat junk sometimes but you really don’t have to buy the entire fast food section from the menu just because your heart is broken. Don’t make it a habit.
Avoid Getting A Crazy Haircut Or A Tattoo
Trust me, you are going to repent that ‘edgy’ haircut and that cringeworthy tattoo once this phase is over. Plus, all the pictures you get during this time will forever remind you of the bad decisions you made in life. One, getting the haircut. Second, dating him.
Don’t Ignore Self Care Because Who Cares Now
Just ‘coz he’s no longer around to compliment your sexy legs, doesn’t mean you should stop putting in efforts to look good. You have mourned enough so now get back to your gym routine (and shave those legs for god’s sake).
Stop Plotting Sweet (Read Stupid) Revenge
From filling his shampoo bottle with hair removal cream to egging his beloved car (what Rory and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls did to poor Jess’s car), crazy thoughts can come to your mind when you break up. But just because it didn’t work (or because he was a jerk) doesn’t mean you have to be petty too. Keep your standards up and walk with your head held high.
Stay Away From Sad Music
You have been listening to Adele’s Rolling In The Deep on a loop for days now. And though you love her music, it’s making you more miserable. So stop and tune in to Flo Rida’s Good Feeling.
Stop Updating Weird Statuses
Harsh but true, he’s perhaps moved on to even bother checking your heartfelt emotions. So stop making a show of yourself by uploading heartbreak quotes on social media. He’s just going to scroll through them and maybe drop a casual ‘like’ to add insult to injury.
Don’t Call/Text Him And Regret Later
Not just the drunk “I miss you” texts, stop sending him the sly “happy birthdays” too. Chances are that he won’t reply and you will end up feeling rejected, confused and shattered, once again.
Don’t Go On A Mad Shopping Spree
Slow down sister, you are never really going to use any of that stuff you are buying now. And if you think it’s hard to keep using the stuff that reminds you of your ex (doesn’t that sweatshirt still smell of him?) then trust me, it will be harder to save yourself from the mini heart attack you will get when you see the credit card bill.
Heartbreaks are difficult. And are likely to happen to all of us (more than once). But how you deal with it and how you let it define you as a person is all that matters.
All Images: Gipghy
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