For most of my life, I found comfort in being vanilla. Surprisingly, sex turned out to be one of the few things that I wasn’t willing to just ‘settle’ or compromise with. Not only did my enthusiasm led me to explore different kinds of kinks and fetishes but also made me want to try more fun ways to spice things up. But amidst exciting role-plays, hot and steamy shower sex and bedroom positions, if there was anything I still hesitated to add to my bucket list was a threesome. Little did I know that halfway through my research, I would *actually* be into it. Or at least, be willing to think about it in the future. Curious enough to know what got me interested? Well, lucky for you, I’m here to spill the beans!
Curious About Having A Threesome But Also Intimidated?
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You’re not alone. The idea of being sexually pleased by not one but TWO partners at the same time may sound tempting, but there’s obviously a lot to consider before you make this fantasy come true. Will it get awkward? Will your partner be okay with watching you have sex with someone else? Or would you be able to do the same? Should you do it with friends or strangers?
If you’re in a dilemma about whether or not you should go ahead with this ménage à trois, here are a few facts that you should know.
Wanting a threesome does NOT mean that you’re ‘unsatisfied’ with your partner!
If love can feel strange and inexplainable at times, sexual desires can be just as crazy. Every individual has different fantasies! So if you’re curious to have a threesome or if your partner is interested, don’t be shy to discuss it. It doesn’t mean that you love each other any less or that your sex life is boring.
You’ve got to be comfortable with seeing your partner make love to someone else!
If your third partner is a girl, you’re most likely to watch him fondle her breasts, suck on her nipples or go down on her- just the way he does with you. Imagine this picture in your mind. If you’re not okay with it, then a threesome is not for you. You must also make sure that your partner is okay if the situation is reversed.
It’s better to bring a stranger than a friend to your bed!
You might like the idea of doing things to someone you know. But that’s also a sign for trouble. ‘Coz when it’s all done and dusted, you may never be able to get the visual of your boyfriend and best friend indulging in passionate sex (literally) out of your goddamn mind.
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It’s less awkward than you think. Seriously!
You don’t need to spend every second of the duration doing something wild or thinking of what to do (next) to either of them. Half of the fun of having a threesome is getting to watch hot, steamy sex and getting turned on like crazy! It’s like experiencing LIVE porn in your own bedroom but only better – ‘coz you get to be a part of it.
Your mouth is most likely to be more occupied than it’s EVER been!
Get ready to have your lips and tongue working almost all the time ‘cuz now it’s three people in the mix! Be it kissing, sucking, licking or nibbling, your mouth and lips are going to be very busy.
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Be prepared for all the body fluids all around you!
Even if you don’t have stuff on your body, your bedsheet is going to be covered with it. So make sure that you keep enough tissues by your bedside and remember to do laundry the next day.
Don’t be afraid to laugh it off!
With three people involved, your bodies are bound to make weird noises as you re-position, re-adjust, sweat or gasp profusely. Don’t let something silly bring down your confidence or spoil your mood. Enjoy the moment as it comes. Not everything has to be sexy and straight out of a Fifty Shades Of Grey guide 101.
Don’t let anyone feel like a third wheel in your threesome!
If you find yourself getting hot and heavy with one person, make sure that the third one doesn’t feel left out or appears bored as you two get on with it. Even if your private parts or mouth are busy, make sure that you’re romantically caressing the other person’s body.
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It’s a three-way, not just a ‘me-way’!
You can’t be selfish to expect that you’ll be pampered and pleased by two people simultaneously. You’ve got to give as much as you take and make it more of an ‘all-rounder’ enjoyable experience for each one.
It’s not nearly as easy as it seems in porn!
Having sex with one person and making sure that they’re as satisfied as you is work enough. Adding one more partner into the picture just makes it more performative. Plus, with stuff coming right at you from all angles, you need to be the kind to seriously enjoy it or it could get a bit intense for the faint-hearted!
Regardless of whom you’re with, you can never be too careful about STDs!
During a threesome, make sure that you keep enough condoms nearby and keep switching them, each time there’s a new penetration. Even if one of them is your partner, you don’t know the history of all the people the third one has slept with.
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Make sure that the third person doesn’t sleepover after the threesome!
Don’t let the third one cuddle up or spend more time talking to you or your partner after the act. His/her role here is to ensure that they never come across as a threat to your relationship. So, try to maintain a healthy distance for a while.
It’s okay to set certain ground rules beforehand!
Nobody enters a threesome assuming that everything is on the table. You can always let them know what you’re comfortable with and what you aren’t. If you don’t want your partner doing oral with the third one, say it.
You don’t need to continue doing it forever!
A threesome’s not for everybody! But for better or for worse, it can be an experience worth remembering for life. But just because you did it once doesn’t mean that you’re sexually obligated to keep having a threesome. If you like what you experienced, you can have it once in a while and if you didn’t, you won’t lose anything by trying, would you?
So, are you going to tick or kick (off) your threesome fantasy?!
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