Let’s be honest, we all love ourselves some dirty, adult jokes! They’re hilarious even if they’re slightly inappropriate and we can never get enough of them! So here are 15 dirty jokes that’ll make you instantly crack up!
1. What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’ and ‘aaaaaaah’?
About three inches.
2. A pharmaceutical truck full of Viagra was stolen recently…
The police have since then been on a lookout for hardened criminals!
3. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, ‘Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!’ The woman says, ‘Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!’
4. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear and the other one is a great year!
5. One man calls emergency: Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back: It is okay, I found another one.
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6. What do you call it when a girl and a boy make love for the first time?
Cumming of age!
7. Husband (while making love): Darling, let’s do 68?
Wife: What’s 68?
Husband: You do it to me and I’ll owe you one!
8. What did the penis say to the vagina?
Don’t make me come in there!
9. If a firefighter’s business can go up in smoke, and a plumber’s business can go down the drain, then…
Can a hooker get ‘layed off’?
10. A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis…
Her mom said ‘you should have asked me last night, it was at the tip of my tongue.’
11. What is 6.9?
A great thing ruined by a period!
12. Friend 1: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
Friend 2: Of course! How many people are coming?
Friend 1: Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
13. Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, ‘I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!’ The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, ‘That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!’
14. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold onto your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob!
15. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-a-lotta-puss.
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